hard to kick

how pretty is this pink glow?  image via

I'm snowed iced in.  ICED in.  There's a nice crispy layer of ice on top of the snow piled up in our yard.  Pretty?  Maybe for a little while - approximately one hour for me - but then it becomes annoying.

Right now?  Approximately 15 hours after I woke up this morning, the husband is wearing a ski hat, with his ears poked out like an elf, and he insists on making me watch every play of the National Championship...he's quite hyper (as am I for 11pm), and I'd just like to blog...in peace.  This is the result of us being cooped up inside our much too small house for the entire day....alone...together.

So, what have I done today?  Well, I worked for the bulk of it, but our office was closed so the workload was light.  I drooled all over Urban Outfitters new spring catalog that prompted me to go to their website and stock up on this spring's wants/needs.  Once I was finished shopping for more clothes I don't need, I moved to shopping for a new house we need (not really) but can't have....I shopped inside the perimeter (i.e. closer to the city) because after today, I need a house where some kind of entertainment is within walking distance.  Even though we are not house hunting, I know every single house in our price range and some out of our price range in the desired area of our hood that we'd like to move.  My justification is that I am just one of those who likes to know what's out there.  Once I was finished shopping for my new East Point or Decatur home (East Point has several winners - I was almost in tears at the adorableness), I shopped for the furniture the husband and I will definitely be purchasing as soon as I log off urbanoutfitters.com. 

Old habits die hard.  Hey, at least I don't pull the trigger on all these purchases...

I'm like the Airstream Song by Miranda Lambert - never satisfied....and that's annoying.  This is what an ice day will do to me.  I'm entirely too high strung to spend this many hours, feeling perfectly healthy, cooped up inside my house.  The better news?  Tomorrow will play out the same way, and there's an even dirtier rumor that this mess may not clear up until Saturday.

If that's the case, I'll be a force to be reckoned with.  I'm sure the husband will have taken his chances by then and escorted me out to the civilization known as the mall or at the very least, a Mexican dinner. 

I know some of you readers live up north, but you have to know we southern dwellers are not equipped for driving in ice or even handling such temperatures coming in contact with our skin.  Misery.

So, if you don't hear from me over the course of this week, you'll know someone has actually died of boredom.

is this thing on?

I've discussed the way me and the husband argue. 

We argue over things that are so infuriatingly stupid that I swear we get angrier than those who fight about things that actually matter because what we're fighting about is just so stupid.

I bought the husband a Big Green Egg for Christmas (cue Best Wife Ever cheer & applause).  He's so happy, he's glowing, and it truly makes my heart happy to make him so happy - giving is so much more fun than receiving - especially when you buy yourself little gifts while shopping for others. 

Little did I know that I was creating a bit of a monster....(actually, I take that back...anyone could see that he was becoming obsessed). 

I digress...

The husband is the cook at our house.  I always say he wasn't being properly fed by me, so he had to improvise.  He comes by it honestly - domesticity runs in his family.  Turns out, we're the perfect match because it doesn't run in mine.  So, I purchased him a cookbook called Southern Plate.  He picked it out when we were in Florida, and I stumbled across it at Sam's.  Since the arrival of the cookbook, we've been eating good.  He makes this fried chicken with "come back sauce."  The chicken is breaded in saltine crackers and fried like normal - they say the saltines make it less fatty (or maybe he just told me that).  Either way, he's created a monster in me by cooking that meal.  A Fried Chicken Monster.  I pretty much crave the chicken and the "come back sauce" weekly. 

I specifically bought a giant pack of chicken tenders for him to fry up.  Yesterday, while I was working from home, the craving hit like a ton of bricks.  It's cold outside - give me something fatty and yummy to eat for dinner.  My spare tire isn't quite big enough yet.  When he came home, we had this exchange...

me: 

I'm thawing this big pack of chicken tenders and thought maybe you could fry up that chicken and we can make some "come back sauce."

husband:

 [sleepily]  yaaaaaaaaaaa-unghhhh

The noise that came out of him while I suggested we have the fried chicken so closely resembled a "yes" that I thought we were clear on the fact that I. Want. Fried. Chicken. For. Dinner. Damnit.

So, I left him to rest.  I gave him strict instructions to call me if my work computer started making the incoming email noise often enough to require my return.  So, he calls me when I'm leaving Target.  All of my Christmas Spirit has been stolen by the shitty cart I'm pushing and the masses of slow ass people wandering through Target, clearly just beginning their Christmas shopping.  Phone conversation plays out as follows:

me:

 yup?

husband: 

you told me to call you if your computer started acting crazy.  Smoke was coming out of the sides, so I threw it in the bathtub to cool it off.

me: 

oh - very funny.  chuckle chuckle

(sneer - my chicken better be in the fryer)

husband: 

 so, what do you want for dinner?

me:

  oh, well, I was thinking we could make the fried chicken...unless you'd rather go grab something.

(the only thing that will make this okay is if he suggests Mexican)

husband: 

oh, well, I was thinking of cooking them on the egg.  I've already started marinating them.

me: 

oh?

husband: 

is that not okay?

me: 

um.....well, I mean......no, it's fine.

(okay, I'm secretly angry)

husband: 

okay, when will you be home? 

me: 

I don't know.  I'm out in this shit, and I still need to go to Kroger

I was seething from anger about the fact that he MARINATED the chicken tenders I purchased SPECIFICALLY for my favorite fried chicken.  If he didn't want to make the chicken, he should have made a noise that resembled more of a "no" than a "yes."  Not cool.

I drive to the grocery store - PISSED - so I send a BBM....

me: 

if you don't mind, don't cook all of the tenders.  I purchased it specifically for the fried chicken because it's delicious leftover

(in my mind - grilled chicken gets hard and gross the next day and THAT'S why I don't eat leftovers)

husband: 

 Well, I've already marinated all of it.  Apparently I've really effed up - you clearly wanted the fried chicken.

me: 

Well, yeah.  We agreed on it.

husband: 

when did we agree on it?  You said last week that you wished I wouldn't cook it so much because of the calories!

Here's where his "selective hearing" kicks in. 

First of all, when I said he needed to lay off cooking the fried chicken tenders, I was stuffing one in my mouth while simultaneously dipping the next one in "come back sauce."  Lay off cooking the chicken means "only cook the chicken when I request it."  Duh.  It also means "awww...sweetheart, you shouldn't have, but I'm so glad you did...nom nom nom nom nommmmm." 

Also, he AGREED that family time over preparing "come back sauce" sounded great...that's what "yaaaaaaaaaaa-unghhhh" means. 

So, we proceeded to send snippy BBMs back and forth until my Blackberry died - which pissed him off even more because, turns out, he thought I turned my phone off.

I came home to this grilled-ass chicken, and yeah, it was good.  I had it over a SALAD since I was so rudely reminded of my caloric intake. 

And we proceeded to not speak to each other for the majority of the evening.  I mean, things are good now.  It's Christmas Eve!  But seriously?  I think someone here learned a lesson yesterday...

WHEN THE CRANKY WOMAN SAYS SHE WANTS EFFING FRIED CHICKEN, YOU MAKE EFFING FRIED CHICKEN.  THE EGG WILL ALWAYS BE THERE, YOU MAY NOT AFTER THE WOMAN GOES BATSHIT CRAZY ON YOUR ASS. 

Merry Christmas.

gah!

a couple of things...

• I can't just watch football - hence the blog post during the Georgia/Georgia Tech game.  (Go Dawgs!)
• I think I'm going to start paying closer attention to punctuation on junk.
• Lord have mercy, this blog sucks compared to Kindredly.  Is it possible the feeling of censorship was all in my crazy head and I took a decent blog with a decent following and created a mediocre blog with a teeny following (something like 30 hits a day, here).  I'm seriously thinking about sharing on Kindredly the link to junk....if family finds it, family finds it.  
• that's all.  I hope you all have enjoyed this long weekend.  Now, back to drinking - this game has me stressed.

more random for your monday

sorry guys - seems these days i'm made up of nothing but random thoughts and clothing posts.  mondays are usually always reserved for the random as i'm recovering from my 5:40 a.m. wake up call...

• fact - i will have a total hissy fit when i don't get what i want in the decorating department.  it dawned on me, not for the first time, that i'd really like to move our television in between the front windows in our living room.  not only does it fit - perfectly, i measured - it will make the set-up of the room finally make sense to me.   it will also allow the proper space needed for my christmas tree, which is going up here indirectly.  turns out, the husband is not going to move mountains (or cable cords) to make this happen for me, and he's told me the cable company (eff you, charter) will charge upwards of $100.  there has got to be a handy man near who can make this happen for less than that...i think this will be the focus on my days off this week.  my fabulous grandmother suggested we sign up for direct tv (giving them the $100 referral incentive) and someone from direct will come and put my cable where i want it!  ....that's a thought.
• this is my last 1/2 week at my current company.  i know - a three-week notice is a bit much, but timing really is terrible.  i do have to say that i'm ready to blow this popsicle stand and get on with my new, shiny job.  the anticipation is nearly killing me.  my bosses, of course, think otherwise and are really pushing me to keep doing my job as if i'm never leaving.  the urge to transition some things to other people is strong....and kind of necessary, might i add.  wednesday, please hurry.
• i blogged on kindredly about the crazy lymph node thing that popped up on my face last winter.  it comes and goes, which would make sense if it were a lymph node, but i thought lymph nodes had designated areas where they generally pop up - the jaw not being one.  the bump sits right on my jaw, and right now it's kind of tender.  truthfully, i'm a little worried and think i should maybe consider seeing a doctor.  my dentist friend told me that she thinks it could be a calcium deposit from my incessant clenching (stems from anything - stress, excitement or anger - i'm looney!).  either way, if i'm going to the doctor, i need to get that done this week.  i'm not really into asking for time off in the first couple of weeks on the job.  but what doctor to i see?  the general practitioner has told me it's a lymph node. 
• this bullet is kind of gross - and you know how much i hate for people to talk about their children's "issues" and bodily functions on Facebook and Twitter (although, this is my blog, and I reserve the right to write about poop all day every day if i want to), but i have to get some input.  mia, my oldest beagle-child, has started eating poop.  correction - she's always eaten poop, but it tapered off enough to be a non-issue.  well, she's started back again, and soon after she eats it, she comes in the house and pukes it up...everywhere.  on the hardwoods (nbd), on the carpet (not cool), on the bed (holy shit, i will kill you), and on the bed while we're sleeping (dead. dog-child.)  let me just say that naturally, it smells like shit (duh), but i mean, it's worse... the husband and i could be dead to the world, and when she pukes in the bed, we shoot out of bed.  this has lead to constantly washing the duvet, changing the sheets in the middle of the night, and shampooing the carpet at 2 a.m. (on a school night, no less).  i know the obvious answer to this is to kick her out of the bed, and we've done that.  being a spoiled beagle-child, she doesn't believe in sitting on the floor.  she goes straight to the couch where she will puke as well...on my white couch,  so i've washed the cushion covers on the couch at randoms hours as well.  i've googled it, and i get results from not getting enough nutrients (my ass - her food is holistic and costs me $50/bag) to being bored (!!!!).  either way, it has to stop.  dog owner readers - anyone dealing with this?  please! wisdom!
• we had friends over this past saturday, and i don't know how it's possible that i'm still recovering from it.  we even gained an hour with falling back.  torture...today. is. torture.
• i'm throwing around the idea of getting acrylic nails just like my current boss - see photo... i spend just as much money getting my nails repainted weekly (and i always upgrade to a manicure because i feel like they are judging my cuticles and are annoyed they have to waste their time on a $3-5 job...and the massage is always a plus).  my cuticles are going to hate me because of all of this cuticle cutting going on WEEKLY, so i can just bite the bullet and get short acrylics, and the paint will stay.  gel nails have not successfully made it to the suburbs, and i'm kind of getting used to this place near my house since i'm not totally sure if my lunch hour at my new job permits nail appointments (i'm sure it does, but just being prepared).  i'm also coming off of a great run with essie's ballet slippers, so i wouldn't mind making that my acrylics' signature color (that might even be what my boss has on here).  if i was feeling frisky, i could also have them go a different color - it's not like i'm getting claws or french manicure!  what do you guys think?  ruin my current nails (which are great) to save some money and time? 

 

• i got all caught up on Real Housewives of Atlanta yesterday.  i didn't get up from the couch for something like five hours, so i caught the marathon. i have to say that i don't mind nene's nose, and i feel like her plastic surgeon did a really good job... and i want to slap phaedra.  what was all that mess with the former destiny's child singer?  are you a lawyer or a publicist?  oh, and you should know how far along you are in your pregnancy.  and please get off of your southern woman kick. 
• also made the mistake of watching The Time Traveler's Wife yesterday.  seriously?  weird.   i also watched The Lovely Bones.  Alice Sebold is probably one of my favorite authors, and that book totally goes down as one of my favorites.  a bit weird, but mark walberg is gorgeous.  the colors in the movie were really pretty too...

that's all for now...random, but seriously, i need opinions on the acrylic nail debate and what to do about my disgusting dog.  

somebody call PETA

sorry - i have nothing to blog about.  life is moving at warp speed right now, and every time i sit to write, i'm interrupted and lose my train of thought.

you guys can proof the letter i'm finally sending to the vent column in my local newspaper...

dear henry county,

i want to thank the local law enforcement for the complete display this morning while attending to a three car fender bender on the only road leading to the interstate.  trust i'm battling my inside "warm & fuzzies" knowing you would bring out the big guns for my stupidity in the form of three police cars, the biggest fire truck ever, an ambulance and giant orange cone castle.  however, today was the day that i was smart and didn't get into a fender bender.   nonetheless, i had to wait in the line of geriatrics and rubber neckers to make it by the display of lights from what had to be 1/3 of your on-duty staff of officers!  my question today is this, do you think you could spare one of your policemen to give me a blue light escort through the god-forsaken traffic that comes here to die?  i swear on everything that is holy, this traffic is going to make me kick a kitten.

for the love of god, build a bypass.

best,

ltj


p.s. this exact letter isn't going - but it sure feels good to let it out...

today. is. slow.

• what is this week?  divorce your husband week?  three seemingly strong marriages in la la land have gone kaput.  totally thrown by courtney cox's open marriage.  

• did you guys happen to see the naked pics of kim kardashian for W mag?  i have to say it's nice to see someone who's gorgeous rocking her curves and not trying to be all teeny - although, i quit following her on twitter (non - anon) because she tweeted entirely too much about working out.  and honestly, i have to say i'm super surprised she did this because she kind of comes across a little timid and insecure on her show - ijs.

•  i think my hair had a growth spurt.  my hair is lonnnnng...and i kind of like it.  i've decided i'm giving it until the end of the year, and if i still like it, i'll keep it, but if not, i'm going back to my favorite stylist to have her go all dramatic on my head.  

• this weekend is our "camping trip" to the perry, georgia fair.  the husband wants to take his parents pop-up, and we have friends who want to bring theirs, so we're going to embrace the term "redneck" for one night.  we're also going to see miranda lambert...pumped.  the point of this bullet is to say that i think i want go purchase a pair of those jeggings now...the ones from gap.  i'd like to wear them with my cute new boots (not the gray ones - i took those back after all), and if they dont look good with those, the jeggings will go back, and the boots will go on ebay - seriously, i've got to quit buying shit i don't wear.  the boots are a perfect mixture of "cowboy" and just plain cute.  they are fossil and a camel-ish brown that looks worn...i like them a lot, but they seriously come up to just below my knee, and i feel like my leg looks really cut off. 

• this week has been crazy busy.  i have one candidate who's interviewing at all of our clients, and i have a little something else going on personally (all good, no worries).  i have to say it's a bit much coming off a too-short weekend, and i'm really ready for a relaxing weekend. 

• i ate sushi for lunch - sushi is actually really low in weight watchers points, btw.  i never eat sushi because it makes me sick.  i get drowsy and my stomach hurts, and i just kind of feel cloudy.  my nail girl told me it was because of the cold rice because i don't touch those crazy fish rolls.  what gives?  grrrr.....

waiting for the chill - work wear wish list

i've said before my job requires me to wear a suit, or something like it, every day.  i don't wear matching suits because i actually don't have one.  i mix and match and that's probably pretty terrible, but it's how i roll. 

anyway, if you walk into my office without a blazer monday - thursday, you might get a weird look from the boss lady.  i tend to stock up on blazers when i see one i like, and naturally, i'm attracted to all the super fun pieces...

1.  shrunken plaid blazer - charlotte russe
2.  white wool pleated skirt blazer - asos
3.  rounded hem blazer- charlotte russe
4.  black pearl shoulder waterfall jacket - asos
5.  trumph washed leather asymmetrical jacket - asos
6.  africa biker jacket - asos

in case you haven't noticed, asos is rocking my socks off lately.  i want every other thing on their website.  i will say, i had luck with a dress this spring.  i did purchase one before that i sent back, and i do not recommend that - i think you can easily get all your money back on ebay without having to pay the shipping and wait for the return to finally get to london (just some helpful tips).  i've also tried on both charlotte russe blazers.  they are VERY cute and a great fit.  they each run about $34, which is obviously a very inexpensive way to spruce up the wardrobe and keep the urge to buy at bay (spoken like a true shopoholic, yes).  i did not purchase them because i'm trying hold off on spending before vacation - no worries, they will both end up on hangers in my closet at some point.  :) 

happy shopping!!

the start of year five...

the husband and i had a fabulous anniversary. thank you for all of your comments!

i spent all morning writing up a post about how terrible our dinner was at bentley's on the square in our little town. i don't need to rehash the ridiculousness, so just know it was terrible. people who are not smart own the place, and there were several red flags that i totally ignored when making our reservation.

what did i learn? that the husband and i can still have a blast even when we're sitting in the middle of suck. we will also take over the world one day because we completely reworked their whole business, chatted about life, told each other how lucky we felt, and got a buzz all in one hour.

the rest is history, of course.

so, now we've just decided we're going to take an awesome trip for our anniversary next year and forget the special dinner. eff it.

outlander

i just finished the first installment of the outlander series by diana gabaldon.

um.....

seriously.

i'm in love with a character in a book.

i'll only tell as much as what's on the back of the book, but basically, the story takes place in the 1940's after the war. claire beauchamp is finally being reunited with her husband, frank randall, after several years. they spent the war apart, she as a nurse and he as a soldier, and they've reunited in scotland on kind of a second honeymoon, if you will.

in their touristy journey through scotland, they come across a stonehenge type of structure. claire, some sort of budding botanist, later returns to the stonehenge structure to check out a plant she noticed and is sucked back in time 200 years. the story goes as you'd imagine if you'd been catapulted 200 years back in time - totally freaked out, she makes the best of it, and meets a man of interest.

this is so the readers digest, slash me trying not to give anything away version.

listen, as crazy unrealistic as this book sounds, you want to read it. promise.

the few readers who've also read this, will agree, i'm sure. enjoy!

grrr.....

today didn't really go as planned. i attempted productivity but failed miserably.

at about 3pm, my throat started hurting. isn't it strange when that happens? like, one minute i'm feeling a little drowsy and suffering from a slight headache, and the next minute, i'm straight up allergy attacking. it's getting progressively worse, and for the life of me, i can't remember if mucinex d will keep me awake all night. i'm not willing to risk it.

i have a new client appointment tomorrow. i desperately need to get back on my sales bandwagon and get some new clients. i also need this to go well, so that i can make some more money. in other news, work is going great, and i'm challenged, which is fun. however, the most challenging part of my day lately is keeping focused. i need the beach trip to hurry up and get here.

i'm heading to bluffton, south carolina next weekend to visit my old co-worker and girl crush. i seriously cried when she left my company, and i don't cry. she mentioned something about a wine cruise. two words :: i'm there. we may take a day trip into savannah or hilton head or just hang out at her amazing place in palmetto bluff. can't. wait.

i had words with my endocrinologist today. he refused my synthroid (which i kind of have to take...daily) because i didn't have plans to come into the office. the nurse told me that i "haven't been coming" which is total shit because i came six months ago and was poked and prodded and nearly strangled because this doctor refuses to think i'm telling him the truth when i say i do not have my effing thyroid. i'm almost 29 years old - if it hasn't grown in 29 years, i'm pretty sure it won't be making an appearance. ijs. luckily, my boss comes from a family of doctors, so she's recommended a couple of endos closer to my office.

after i finally won and got my prescription filled, i found myself near my nail place. i treated myself to a mani/pedi, and while my pedicure is adorable, my manicure is total shit. it looks terrible, and the newbie technician spent all of 25 seconds painting them. did i ask for a refund? no. did i ask for her to redo them? no. i didn't do anything. i sat there with a pissed off look on my face and made a whole lot of noise as i left with still wet nails. i really need lessons on how to not be a doormat in these situations. i just hate the awkwardness of saying "um...no. redo this." because it's not like i'm going to get a new technician. the one who destroyed them to begin with will have to redo them, and she'll be pisssed about it. i'd rather just pay for the stupid manicure (along with perfectly acceptable tip, might i add) than deal with that uncomfortable situation. i'll learn one day. i think i just broke up with my nail salon.

friday, please? or at least an awesome thursday, and by that i mean my candidate totally rocks her interview and i totally rock my client appointment. that will make this whole randomly terrible week all worth it.

dear charter, i hate your face.

i'm not one who gets all in a tizzy about things like cable.

i'm the high maintenance viewer who has to have dvr - because i refuse to be on anyone else's time.

also, i'm the high maintenance viewer who has to have hbo for fabulous shows like trueblood and big love. because sometimes they are the only shows worth watching.

but here's the deal. i hate charter communications because they nickle and dime you to death. i'm pretty sure i'm paying a router lease fee for MY ROUTER. the one i purchased at best buy.

back before we purchased our house, i was deep into my love affair with comcast. i know some people hate comcast, but let me tell you, our dvr box worked, our internet was always up, and the cable guy was this big burly man who liked to talk about shopping (at first i thought it was likely the husband would come home to find me dead, but we ended up gabbing for a really long time as he was setting up my wireless. further proof you should never judge a book by it's cover).

when we moved to the country two years ago, i was extremely upset to discover that charter had a monopoly on our area. it was charter or direct tv, and direct tv is confusing. so, i begrudgingly signed up for stupid charter, and i've hated them since. i try to give them the benefit of the doubt, but my cable/internet bill is effing $173/month, and they routinely call me to promote their "savings plan" of adding a phone line for $180/month. there's a serious lack of attention to detail with their sales people. i know it's only $7, but i'm sure there is some monthly charge for having my own phone attached to the wall. our cable doesn't go out, but our dvr box never works. the whole deal will lock up in the middle of riveting television and we're shit out of luck. when we call charter to handle the situation, they respond by saying "just bring your box to our office, and we'll give you another one." no thanks, charter. i'm not driving to bumblef*ck for you to give me another refurbished, busted up box. our internet goes down - everyday. so instead of listening to the husband bitch and moan, i called charter.

convo went like this::

me :: hi, my intenet is down, and really, it's down every single day.

CC :: oh, i'm so sorry, let me look at your account.

me :: .....

CC :: i'm not showing any outages in your area, so let me try to repair the problem.

me :: i've already reset the router.

CC :: good, now turn off your computer.

me :: ok.

CC :: now, i'm going to send a technician out to diagnose the problem. of course, if it's on your end, we'll have to charge you - unless you sign up for the charter plan called another bullshit way to take your money.

me :: um....no.

CC :: ok, ma'am. have you restarted your computer?

me :: yes. well, lookie here - it works.

CC :: did you still want me to send technician to your home to diagnose the problem? again, if it's on your end, we will have to charge you, unless you sign up for the bullshit way to take your money plan, in which case, it would be covered.

me :: how much is the bullshit way to take my money plan?

CC :: it's an extra $5/month.

me :: no.

ok...five dollars a month isn't a big deal, but it's the principle. now that i know they are charging me a lease fee for my own router, all of the problems should be on their end. i'm not letting some douchebag cable dude come out to my house to tell me some jibberish about wires and lines that my house has somehow eaten; therefore, making my internet woes my problem and making me responsible for a $100 fee for looking at a cord.

@chartergeorge on twitter keeps hitting me up to call and have them fix my problem. um....no thank you. now that i know that rebooting my computer will do the trick, i'll just stick with that until comcast rides in on it's white horse and saves me.

on notice...

happy weekend!

• my grandfather is coming over today to spray our house for bugs. having a family member who once owned their own biz is helpful in getting free stuff. exterminator contracts are pricey! who knew? there was a roach the size of texas chilling out on my shower curtain yesterday morning. after screaming and throwing things at it for approximately 15 minutes - at 6 a.m. - it escaped and is now probably bedded down right next to my tube of queen helene.
  

• i'll curl up in bed with a spider before i let a roach live in my house. know this. not sure how i managed four and a half years in milledgeville, georgia where roaches rush the sidewalks like students rush the football field after a major win.
  

• mom and i are getting together today to go look at furniture. the husband and i have the saddest dining room table you've ever seen. we also could use a new couch. this could get dangerous. my mom taught me everything i know about being a shopaholic.

• i missed the last 20 minutes of mad men last week, and it's not on demand yet. i'm kind of freaking out.
  

• has anyone seen fergie's fingernails? if not, here you go. how much do you hate them?::

• i want to make a jewelry board for my bathroom. i want it to be kind of shabby chic, but not too over the top - - and seriously, i keep envisioning chicken wire with hooks for the necklaces. how do i make this, creative ones?

• shiloh jolie pitt is a lesbian. not that there's anything wrong with that, but i think this is the only time i've ever been able to point it out at such a young age.

• my bestie is catching up on the show las vegas that i'm not sure anyone actually watched. she said the character, sam, is like watching me on tv. she said her personality is exactly like mine. not sure if this is a compliment or not, considering i've never watched the show. but she said we kind of look the same... this is sam ::
  

i wish!

happy weekend, folks!!! :)

rando time!

• the president's in my hood. or my work hood, and i'd like to blow this place before his motorcade effs traffic all to hell and back.
  

• i re-joined weight watchers yesterday. the stretch marks on my hips were the final straw. i'm apparently growing at a rapid speed, and i've decided to get it under control before it's too out of control.
  

• i'm kind of over work today. my hangover has decided to take two days to get out of my system.

• because of the above bullet, i'm doing minimal work.

• tomorrow will be my bitch.

• seems my father is coming to town to visit, and he'd like to "work on our relationship." i don't get into too many details about it because it's a long drawn out story that's not that interesting. i wish i could say that it was all beaver cleaver, but definitely not. i also wish i could say that i'm pumped, but the feeling is mostly neutral.

• i'm going to start a serious marketing campaign at work tomorrow. i mean, serious. hopefully the pain and sound of my stomach growling won't be easily heard over the phone.

• trueblood ended 10 minutes early last night. it also ended in a really juicy spot. hbo, you did this once last season - i remember because i pitched a holy fit right there. let's take up the whole time slot please. on notice until next week.

• i fell asleep for the last 20 or so minutes of mad men. hitting up my dvr tonight for the rest. i trust that amc did not skeeze us out of the last 10.
  

• the husband's birthday was saturday. i was going to write a birthday post, and i might write a belated birthday post depending on my plan. we were busy from the time we woke up until bed at 3:30 sunday morning. the husband doesn't enjoy going to the movies, but he asked to go see a movie on saturday. what did he suggest we see? dinner for schmucks. i'll never get those two hours back. i do not recommend; husband, however, was rolling on the floor. he. loved. it. ..so i guess mission accomplished?

bout it bout it

• i tweeted on my non-anon twitter page the other day that that day was going to be my bitch. and it was. i made two placements, and hopefully made two candidates days! i think i should wake up every day, stretch, and after two cups of coffee say "i'm gonna make today my bitch." if you say it, it will happen.

• the change i mentioned a couple of weeks ago is still potentially happening. exciting and scary all at once. i've debated blogging it out here because this is somewhat anon, but some people do know me, and i'm not sure who reads. i would certainly hope none of my readers were malicious biotches, but you just never know.
  

• i purchased a Braves package for the husband's birthday. problem solved.

• because of said placements made this week, the boss gave the office tomorrow off. pumped.

• i have been on a huge jalapeno kick for about a month. i put them on everything. i'm craving my turkey wrap with about a million jalapenos thrown in.
  

• also continuing to crave donuts. i ended up getting some donut holes yesterday (i know, i know - explanation of chunk) to help ease the craving, but i still continue to want them. i think it's going to take a dozen krispy kremes to calm this down.

• i was catching up on perez yesterday and couldn't help but notice a certain celeb - nicole kidman. why does she dress like she's 85? ugh...i just can't like her. also, if alex skarsgaard could break up with skelator, kate bosworth, i'd appreciate it. he's too hot for her.
  

• i asked the husband what he wanted to do for his birthday, and he said he wanted to go to breakfast and just be lazy for the rest of the afternoon until we go to our friends engagement party. boo. i want to do something fun. i'm kind of over summer and the fact that it's robbed my husband of all his energy.

• i'm trying to change the post title font on my blog, but it's being stubborn and not changing over despite my checking and rechecking the html. grr...

• the husband decided to upload his whole cd collection onto his new ipod. in doing so, all of his ginormous, old school leather cd books are scattered around our bedroom. while i was at home last weekend babysitting our refigerator, i went through to see if my ipod could use some updates, and i found my old master p cd. "how you do dat" "bout it bout it" "make em say ugh" um...serious hits here, people. the husband has never been as into hardcore rap as i am. i have to give credit to my old boyfriend who had speakers in his honda that rattled my eardrums. he educated me on all hardcore rap artists and their best songs, which i still enjoy today. one positive i took away from that relationship (don't hate).

• finally starting to enjoy outlander. i'm in chapter six, and i kind of hate to put it down. i read before bed, and i read while i'm drying my hair. i'd like to take a day off so i could read the rest of it. i'm only in chapter six, but jamie is in the picture. i'm ready for the good stuff to start.
  

Junk Road Rage 101

you know you're day's gonna be awesome when you get into an altercation with a school bus driver at 7:30 am.

back story ::

i live in suburbia hell. literally. not only is it a suburb, but it's a trafficy one. efficiency is not on the top of my town's priority list. nothing beats keeping the historic integrity of the town square in place - yet the mother effing town square is kind of a major junction in town (note: i like history and historic places, but i'll bulldoze the hell over anything that makes no sense). most people have to go through it to get to their destination. whatever - i'm getting off the point. i blame my decrease in patience and increase in road rage incidents on the fact that i now live where stupidity and inefficiency came to die. TO. DIE. During the summer months, it's tolerable, but during the school year, repeatedly banging my head on my steering wheel provides more pleasure than dealing with trying to navigate to work.

uh...you might want to make that a zero.

back to now ::

so, this morning, i'm late. true to form. my alarm goes off at 6, and fall out of bed at 6:20. it's just now it is. i'm a sleepy person. i was a little late going through town, and strangely for july, traffic was a bit terrible. i looked up a few cars and noticed that i'm behind a school bus. ding ding ding!!! what the eff is a school bus doing blocking traffic during the summer? oh, that's right - summer school. after a few minutes of total bullshit, the road finally opens up and i take my chance to go around the bus. just as i'm approaching, he's stopping, and i think, "speed up so you can pass before he starts flashing the lights" (i never know if you're supposed to stop when the lights start flashing, or when the stop sign is completely out.) my conscience kicks in and just as i'm about to breeze by, i stop. why you ask? i don't f*cking know.

i stop, but i'm inching up because why the hell aren't these kids on the damn bus by now?

here's the thing, and this will be true when i have my own little shits - if you're late for the bus, your bad. not my bad. i'm in my car, on my way to work, and i'm not going to be late because your dumbass kid can't crawl out of bed for SUMMER SCHOOL.

so, i'm inching, and next thing i know, i see the bus driver's giant paw come flying out his window waving all crazy. first thought - "he's being trampled by the children!" second and correct thought - "he's yelling at me with his paw!"

(cursing) he does this little wave that means to 99.9% of everyone on earth "go on by" so i hit the gas...then is paw yells stop. then the stop sign half way goes in, so i go. then his paw yells stop. then i rolled down my window and screamed at the top of my lungs "what the bleepity-bleep do you want me to bleeping do, dude!?!" and he says something that i can't decipher.

finally, after traffic is backed up to the damn town square, bojangles the bus driver rakes in his stop sign and i take off.

i refuse to feel like an asshole. i was never going to run his stupid little stop sign, i was just inching up because i might have been illegally bbming.

it's summer - should we be taking this all so seriously? i know those little summer school punks sure aren't.

because work can wait, right?

making lists makes me happy. random list posts also seem to generate comments, and i need those. i'm feeling all lonely and "new girly" out here in bloggy land.

• last night i was getting all caught up with perez, and i got to an article about that trainwreck of a teenager, taylor momsen. not only do i hate her stupid character on gossip girl, but i'm pretty sure she's totally hateable in person. where in the hell are her parents? do they not see any need to step in and at least attempt to get her on the right path? where is her mother or any sort of woman influence to say that her eye makeup is absolutely terrible and she completely misunderstood the whole "smokey eye" trend? more importantly, why is a 16 year old walking around in lingerie? i just don't understand. she is the reason why i'm scared of children - they may grow up and turn into her.
  

• i'm going to say it - brace yourself - i think lady gaga's taking it a little too far. i'm kind of over all her antics. i still love her music, and i'll still rock out at her concert (if i can get tickets) but...wow. i'm over it. i know it's hot in nyc and all, but the get up she wore to the yankees game was redic. not only that, but her behavior was a little out of control. while i understand she's pushing the social norm and trying to be all ed-gy, i still see no point in going to a public place, as a public figure and flipping the bird and screaming profanities. let's have some class, lady gg. i'm not a new yorker, so maybe i'm not understanding the hard-edge bitch you must have to be, but enough's enough. you've convinced me that you're a hard ass, and you will say, wear and do anything you want. again, i'm all about the concerts and the performances and pushing the envelope with all of that, but this looney public behavior has got. to. go.

• did anyone see the lead singer of train on last night's home run derby? first of all, i'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say he had to be sick. he was straining like crazy to sing "hey soul sister" - i thought his head was going to explode. but seriously, in the words of the husband, he's 145 pounds soaking wet. cocaine much? anorexia? during the whole "drops of jupiter" era he was not sickly thin. he looked ridiculous last night. who knows what's going on with him, but he should really try to pull it together.

• work? what's that? i'm lacking the motivation to sell (which is 50% of my job, btw) in the worst way. today i promise to get on that.
  

• i'm reading jen lancaster's new book. anyone out there reading it too? what do you think? a few funnies, but things just haven't been right with the last two.
  

• i'm on a new diet. it's called quit eating so much, chunk. i'll let you know how it goes.

• have you guys heard soulja boi's new song, "pretty boi swag"? dis? right here? is. my. swag. it's all up in my head, and i walk around the office singing it daily.
  

• i have officially come down with tanorexia. i'll have you know the night of the wedding i blogged about earlier, i bronzed with self tanner, then bronzed with my sephora powder bronzer, then added more make up. i'm straight from jerseylicious. what the hell is my problem? seriously, if i wore more leopard print and a push up bra, i'd be a dead ringer.
  

• i purchased some laura mercier makeup on gilt, and i'm 100% obsessed, like bad. i've been using mac powder for years - like stuck in my ways, ya'll - and i might be dropping all of that for miz mercier. what is your favorite makeup? (i will probably do a follow up post on this as my makeup runs out - i'm thinking a change is a comin')

• finally, followers, i'm going to ask you to do me a favor, if you like my blog, will you link to me? i'm itching for some new followers, and could use some help! thanks!

lighten up

i'm not someone who puts a lot of thought into my hair. or at least i don't think i do. i've got dark hair - really dark hair - and whenever i highlight it, it ends up brassy. i gave up the highlights a couple of years ago because i was spending a small fortune on keeping them a normal color. i was having lunch with some blogger friends last week, and the discussion of blonde hair and all the woes that go along with finding just the right blonde came up. i work in an office full of blondies, so i finally understand all the different blondes you can be, just in listening to them go on and on.

when i color my hair, i go black, and i still might opt for that, but my blogger lunch dates recommended going light, a la kim kardashian, my celebrity-by-association crush.


i facebooked my stylist last night only to be ignored - ?? - i'm writing to inquire about taking my hair in a total direction; therefore, giving you lots of money, only to be ignored?? ridiculous. so, i called another salon and they told me that in order for me to go from drastic dark, a la kim kardashian as a brunette ...


i was going to have to come in and spend three to four hours waiting for some chemical to take my hair light. and it would be $50/hour. i guess $150 - 200 to make my hair light isn't that much, but what if i hate it? that's $150 - 200 down the drain for me to have to have them put back to dark. you all know how cheap i am.

what to do? thoughts?