it's a new post!

so...sorry for totally neglecting the blog. i'm starting to wonder if my blogging days are coming to an end because life takes up all my time. by the end of the day, i'm so exhausted i can't bring myself to write a blog post. terrible, i know.

the weekend:
well, i'm back from bluffton, and it was fabulous. my girlfriend lives. the. life. i know people say once you have kids, it's kind of...hard? but seriously - i think i'd trade my eight hour view of the westin for her daily view of the kiddie pool. yes, even with the incessant screaming and yelling.

i guess i didn't realize how much i needed some down time, and really, i need more of it. i arrived late friday afternoon to a bottle of wine and much needed conversation. i've missed her so much since she's moved from atlanta. on top of that, she popped out baby number two, and we've barely had time to talk. she hauled the kiddos off to the grandparents, and she and i sat on her immaculate screened in porch for a couple of glasses of wine before dinner. after that, we trucked it to savannah where we met my bestie and my friend's sister in law, who actually know each other through junior league. small world. after a fun night, we caught the last ferry back to the other side of the savannah river and made our way back to her house. saturday was spent lounging by the "adult" pool where we ordered cocktails and gossiped. it was amazing. the pool overlooked the gorgeous may river, and the cooler air was accompanied by the best little ocean-like breeze.

i have to stop writing or i'll start crying.

i haven't had a better weekend in a while...much needed!

introducing hudson:

the husband has always wanted a golf course dog. we have beagles, so they don't make good golf course companions. when we unleash them to the course, we spend most of our time screaming for them to come out of the woods where they've sniffed something out. one of the husband's contacts at the course adopted a stray a few months ago. he'd told me how awesome he was, and mentioned that he'd like to start looking for one to adopt. well, as it turns out, the guy who adopted the stray to begin with, can't keep him....so, now he belongs to the husband and his crew!

meet huddy!

please don't look at my gross house - it's terrible. i'd just gone grocery shopping.
i need a new dining room table. it's embarrassing.

marley, little pup in my other arm, is noooo toooo happy about hudson's arrival. mia, little puppy hog in the back, has a little crush.

huddy comes home to our house after his day at work, and i just love having him. he's the sweetest, most trained stray dog i've ever met. he's so calm and chill, i'm almost afraid he's sick or something. one of the husbands employees brother is a vet. i'm giving it another week for the guys to take him before i take him to our vet for a check up. i'm getting more and more attached by the second; he can't be sick. his favorite activities are jumping in the many lakes at the golf course and running behind the gators (not alligators - john deere gators). i think if he were sick, he wouldn't like doing that so much.

so, that's pretty much it. i feel like life is so full of hustle and bustle right now - but in a good way. more blogging to come up, i promise.

weekend

i promise i'll be back to blogging and getting things done next week!

off to bluffton, south carolina for the weekend! we're going to savannah tonight to meet up with my friend, morgan....can't wait for some girl time and pool time!

outlander

i just finished the first installment of the outlander series by diana gabaldon.

um.....

seriously.

i'm in love with a character in a book.

i'll only tell as much as what's on the back of the book, but basically, the story takes place in the 1940's after the war. claire beauchamp is finally being reunited with her husband, frank randall, after several years. they spent the war apart, she as a nurse and he as a soldier, and they've reunited in scotland on kind of a second honeymoon, if you will.

in their touristy journey through scotland, they come across a stonehenge type of structure. claire, some sort of budding botanist, later returns to the stonehenge structure to check out a plant she noticed and is sucked back in time 200 years. the story goes as you'd imagine if you'd been catapulted 200 years back in time - totally freaked out, she makes the best of it, and meets a man of interest.

this is so the readers digest, slash me trying not to give anything away version.

listen, as crazy unrealistic as this book sounds, you want to read it. promise.

the few readers who've also read this, will agree, i'm sure. enjoy!

indroducing...

the Haute Initiative

a new blog dreamed up by Hiking in Stilettos and myself.

we met a few years ago, and bonded over all things fashion, shopping, and entertainment. literally, we like the same things. it was kind of like i'd met a smaller, cuter cookie cutter of myself... kind of sort of... except we look nothing alike, but you get me, right?

every time we get together, it's non-stop "have you seen the new designer line at target?"..."holy crap, did you hear me squealing over blair waldorf's outfit last night on Gossip Girl?" "how about this shopping trip needs to a little less anthro and a little more f21 because the wallet (and husband) are about to explode"....and it's all met with "wait, i was thinking the same thing."

so, the idea of doing a blog together was just the next step in our quest to take over the world.

ok. maybe not. but we're really excited about it.

check it out. if you follow here, follow there! we need your support!

well well well

i know ya'll are about sick of hearing me be all whiney pants up in here.

in all truthfulness, the week flew by. it feels like i just had a weekend with a few really stressful days thrown in. i'm welcoming this weekend and the unveiling of a new project (more on that later!).

because it's the weekend, the kidney stone has reappeared. i'm growing a little wary of the stupid kidney stone, and how it swoops in to mess everything up. the radiologist called the husband earlier this week and confirmed that the stone is more like a boulder, and the husband would need to be in touch to discuss how they are going to get rid of it. the husband got upset that his urologist hadn't called - he felt there was a disconnect in the communication, which could be true, but apparently, the husband has the film.

here's my thing - call the doctor.

call either of them, and let them know you're experiencing level 9 of 10 in pain. PLEASE.

so, last night, after he was bouncing around in bed like a fish out of water, he got up to take some medicine and spent the rest of the night on the couch. when he woke me up from my coma this morning, i asked him if he needed me to take him anywhere, and he said he was fine. when i suggested he call the doctor to let them know the situation (perhaps they can squeeze him in?) he got all pissy.

don't get pissy with me at 5:50 a.m. when i'm still face first in my pillow, trying to be helpful. just don't. he clearly doesn't understand the force it takes to muster words, much less phrases or suggestions before my feet even hit the floor. but i guess he can argue that i clearly don't understand how painful it is to birth a boulder.

whatever. i started out in the wrong mood today.

i need a big helping of mexican to make me feel better....a large margarita will also be fab.

happy friday, folks!

...

today wasn't great, but it seems the mucinex has finally decided to kick in. just in time for spin.

gonna spin it out.

so happy it's the end of the day and tomorrow's friday.

i also think my candidate is going to get the job. wheewwwwww!

grrr.....

today didn't really go as planned. i attempted productivity but failed miserably.

at about 3pm, my throat started hurting. isn't it strange when that happens? like, one minute i'm feeling a little drowsy and suffering from a slight headache, and the next minute, i'm straight up allergy attacking. it's getting progressively worse, and for the life of me, i can't remember if mucinex d will keep me awake all night. i'm not willing to risk it.

i have a new client appointment tomorrow. i desperately need to get back on my sales bandwagon and get some new clients. i also need this to go well, so that i can make some more money. in other news, work is going great, and i'm challenged, which is fun. however, the most challenging part of my day lately is keeping focused. i need the beach trip to hurry up and get here.

i'm heading to bluffton, south carolina next weekend to visit my old co-worker and girl crush. i seriously cried when she left my company, and i don't cry. she mentioned something about a wine cruise. two words :: i'm there. we may take a day trip into savannah or hilton head or just hang out at her amazing place in palmetto bluff. can't. wait.

i had words with my endocrinologist today. he refused my synthroid (which i kind of have to take...daily) because i didn't have plans to come into the office. the nurse told me that i "haven't been coming" which is total shit because i came six months ago and was poked and prodded and nearly strangled because this doctor refuses to think i'm telling him the truth when i say i do not have my effing thyroid. i'm almost 29 years old - if it hasn't grown in 29 years, i'm pretty sure it won't be making an appearance. ijs. luckily, my boss comes from a family of doctors, so she's recommended a couple of endos closer to my office.

after i finally won and got my prescription filled, i found myself near my nail place. i treated myself to a mani/pedi, and while my pedicure is adorable, my manicure is total shit. it looks terrible, and the newbie technician spent all of 25 seconds painting them. did i ask for a refund? no. did i ask for her to redo them? no. i didn't do anything. i sat there with a pissed off look on my face and made a whole lot of noise as i left with still wet nails. i really need lessons on how to not be a doormat in these situations. i just hate the awkwardness of saying "um...no. redo this." because it's not like i'm going to get a new technician. the one who destroyed them to begin with will have to redo them, and she'll be pisssed about it. i'd rather just pay for the stupid manicure (along with perfectly acceptable tip, might i add) than deal with that uncomfortable situation. i'll learn one day. i think i just broke up with my nail salon.

friday, please? or at least an awesome thursday, and by that i mean my candidate totally rocks her interview and i totally rock my client appointment. that will make this whole randomly terrible week all worth it.

a little sexy for your wednesday

holy crap.

holy sexy crap.

eric, you are an adonis.

bill, you're not so bad yourself.


thank you, jill, for this lovely email yesterday...and readers, you. are. welcome.

dear charter, i hate your face.

i'm not one who gets all in a tizzy about things like cable.

i'm the high maintenance viewer who has to have dvr - because i refuse to be on anyone else's time.

also, i'm the high maintenance viewer who has to have hbo for fabulous shows like trueblood and big love. because sometimes they are the only shows worth watching.

but here's the deal. i hate charter communications because they nickle and dime you to death. i'm pretty sure i'm paying a router lease fee for MY ROUTER. the one i purchased at best buy.

back before we purchased our house, i was deep into my love affair with comcast. i know some people hate comcast, but let me tell you, our dvr box worked, our internet was always up, and the cable guy was this big burly man who liked to talk about shopping (at first i thought it was likely the husband would come home to find me dead, but we ended up gabbing for a really long time as he was setting up my wireless. further proof you should never judge a book by it's cover).

when we moved to the country two years ago, i was extremely upset to discover that charter had a monopoly on our area. it was charter or direct tv, and direct tv is confusing. so, i begrudgingly signed up for stupid charter, and i've hated them since. i try to give them the benefit of the doubt, but my cable/internet bill is effing $173/month, and they routinely call me to promote their "savings plan" of adding a phone line for $180/month. there's a serious lack of attention to detail with their sales people. i know it's only $7, but i'm sure there is some monthly charge for having my own phone attached to the wall. our cable doesn't go out, but our dvr box never works. the whole deal will lock up in the middle of riveting television and we're shit out of luck. when we call charter to handle the situation, they respond by saying "just bring your box to our office, and we'll give you another one." no thanks, charter. i'm not driving to bumblef*ck for you to give me another refurbished, busted up box. our internet goes down - everyday. so instead of listening to the husband bitch and moan, i called charter.

convo went like this::

me :: hi, my intenet is down, and really, it's down every single day.

CC :: oh, i'm so sorry, let me look at your account.

me :: .....

CC :: i'm not showing any outages in your area, so let me try to repair the problem.

me :: i've already reset the router.

CC :: good, now turn off your computer.

me :: ok.

CC :: now, i'm going to send a technician out to diagnose the problem. of course, if it's on your end, we'll have to charge you - unless you sign up for the charter plan called another bullshit way to take your money.

me :: um....no.

CC :: ok, ma'am. have you restarted your computer?

me :: yes. well, lookie here - it works.

CC :: did you still want me to send technician to your home to diagnose the problem? again, if it's on your end, we will have to charge you, unless you sign up for the bullshit way to take your money plan, in which case, it would be covered.

me :: how much is the bullshit way to take my money plan?

CC :: it's an extra $5/month.

me :: no.

ok...five dollars a month isn't a big deal, but it's the principle. now that i know they are charging me a lease fee for my own router, all of the problems should be on their end. i'm not letting some douchebag cable dude come out to my house to tell me some jibberish about wires and lines that my house has somehow eaten; therefore, making my internet woes my problem and making me responsible for a $100 fee for looking at a cord.

@chartergeorge on twitter keeps hitting me up to call and have them fix my problem. um....no thank you. now that i know that rebooting my computer will do the trick, i'll just stick with that until comcast rides in on it's white horse and saves me.

on notice...

why today sucked

there are just some days that need to be erased from the books. today has been that day...for both me and the husband.

mine all started with my new obsession with vanilla iced coffee for keurig. i love me some iced coffee and have tried unsuccessfully to make it with normal coffee, so you can only imagine my excitement when i discovered it at bed bath and beyond.

i had a cup this morning while i was getting ready, and it was so delicious i decided to make myself a roadie.

note to self :: always hit the restroom before you leave if you're drinking excessive amounts of coffee.

now that you can see where this is going, i found myself on the downtown connector, far from any exits, in slow moving traffic, having to pee. like, bad. i turned on pandora to try to distract myself with no luck. it was painful. i unfastened my seat belt to try to alleviate the pressure. turns out, the pressure i was feeling was me about to totally ruin my seats and outfit. the desperation came to a head when i thought i was about to start crying, so i abandoned my spot in the traffic and took i-20 away from town, to the nearest exit. if you're familiar with downtown atlanta, the city itself is somewhat surrounded by questionable areas - especially off i-20. i was headed east, and took memorial drive thinking "there will be a gas station right off here." um.....no. i was in transitional loft hell with nothing in site. i sped into an exxon not realizing that i'd taken the back way to the corner of moreland & memorial also known as the corner of stabbed to death & shot to death.

i jumped out of my car with my purse, phone and keys acting as stabbing mechanism in case i was jumped, in which case, they'd want nothing to do with me because i'd promptly pee myself. i ran into the gas station, flailed around for a doorway leading to restrooms only to discover a sign that said "no public restrooms" um....my ass. so, after the clerk noticed i was dying, he motioned me back to the room of death.

i was in the back room of a dirty gas station on the corner of memorial & moreland. my guess is the bathroom was last cleaned when the gas station opened...maybe 1985? after i realized the toilet paper was sopping wet, and i was likely to pick up a disease, i discovered that not only is all of that happening, but i'm in the dark back room of a gas station by myself. in a room labeled "no public restroom"...and i'm the public. not only that, every single person in the gas station was a scruffy man, and one of them is going to be waiting outside to rape and pillage me. no one would even know.

thought going through my head :: "wow. a little old to be getting ourselves into these kinds of situations, aren't we?"

it's called when you have to pee bad enough, all responsibility flies out the window.

the happy ending is that i made it out, and the homeless men sitting on the sidewalk were actually quite pleasant even as i sprinted out of the gas station with 911 already programmed and ready to dial.

the husband's day went by as successfully. the poor guy has multiple kidney stones, and after watching a combined 14 hours of golf over the course of the weekend, he bravely stepped out to get some work done. i bbmed to check on him around noon, and the conversation went like this::

me:: how are you feeling?

husband:: pretty bad, just got caught in a yellow jacket's nest, and i've been stung.

me:: omg. are you ok?

husband:: i'll call you back.

the husband was stung twelve times. twelve. times. (!!!). one time i got a yellow jacket caught between my arm and my boob. luckily it stung my arm, but it stung like holy hell...for a long time. after twelve pops, the husband was done. he stopped for some benadryl and came home to sleep it off. now he just looks like he's been beat up.

oh, and puppy number one, the one who had acl surgery in may, is limping again. it just happened right before our eyes. i'm a bit devastated as we've been nursing and babying her leg for almost three months.

i need a do-over.

seriously.

work wear daily

i can't express how tired i am of my closet right now. i just wish this time didn't come around annually. the feeling like i just want to go in and rip everything down is overwhelming. i want to scrutinize every piece, and if it hasn't been worn in six months, get rid of it.

unlike my usual approach to dressing myself, i'm kind of more thinking of separating work and play. none of this shopping for things i can wear both places anymore. i think i wear things out this way, and i tend to wear the old favorites over and over. it's time to focus on the work wardrobe.

there are too many days when i've gotten dressed in the dark or half asleep and swear my outfit was totally presentable, only to get to work and see that i look like a hot mess.

this season and from now on, i vow to buy things that look great, flatter my body, and focus on looking like my uber-professional office environment. if we want to call it that, we have to look like it, right?

so, i've thrown together various pieces for work. some of these will most definitely not make it into my work wardrobe as they are upwards of $200/piece, but some will...

for fall/winter season, i'm going to focus on skirts and fun tights. i always tend to buy wide leg pants, and i end up looking ridiculous. i have big thighs - it's an issue for me, and i'll complain all day about how my calves are totally proportional, but my thighs are a whole new ballgame. the best way to combat this issue is wearing skirts, and there are so many fabulous ones out there. some of my favorites are below.

click to make photos larger

1. boulee kendel studden skirt - revolve clothing - $114
2. lightweight wool charcoal pencil skirt - banana republic - $79.50
3. textured power skirt - bcbg - $148 (is this not showing up? click here to view)
4. novelty grosgrain pencil skirt - the limited - $69.90
5. cricket match skirt - modcloth - $41.99
6. abstract print woven skirt - love 21, forever 21 - $17.99
7. asymmetrical pleated dress - love 21, forever 21 - $29.80
8. paper bag skirt in black - banana republic - $59.50
9. zip back and relax skirt - modcloth - $42.99

in my particular role, my boss likes for us to wear "suits" daily. in the event a client were to call in and want to meet a recruiter, she'd obviously want us to not look like raggamuffins. not only that, we see candidates daily, and we have to set an example if we're going to require they wear a suit (and sometimes we have to tell the unemployed people to go buy one) to visit our clients. while she's lenient on it being an actual suit - thank gawd - a jacket is pretty much manditory monday through thursday. friday can kind of be a free for all, but we still have to keep it classy. long story longer, i'm always looking for blazers. the crazier the cut, the better; although, my boss may not agree.

10. city synthetic jacket - ann taylor loft - $128
11. show jumping blazer - modcloth - $53.99
12. darlin blazer - theory - $395 (ughhhhhhhhhhhh)


13. satin layers top - twelve by twelve, forever 21 - $32.00
14. breezy chiffon top - love 21, forever 21 - $27.80
15. silk ruffle flounce top - love 21, forever 21 - $27.80
16. codey - theory - $200

i love the idea of the cropped pant suit. i'm 5'2" so i'm not sure this would work on me and my thighs, but it's something i'm definitely going to try. i was surprised the limited had shorts in their suiting section but not cropped pants. whatev - i've just featured a couple of pairs that pretty much look exactly alike...

17. lison c - theory - $255
18. parker cropped skinny pants - bcbg - $138

maybe i can take all of the clothes i'm about to boot to plato's closet to help pay for all the newness.

it's baaaaack

the husband is back in his pitiful state. the kidney stone has reared it's ugly head, so i guess the day he spent kneeled in front of the porcelain god was actually a result of the drugs and not the passing of the stone.

balls. i feel sad. i have no one to participate in weekend shenanigans with at this point. unless the stone navigates to a comfortable position. until then, i guess i'll do my part and play nurse (although, not the sexy kind) until he feels better.

after he spent most of yesterday in the fetal position, i made him an appointment with a urologist. they squeezed him in today, and figured out everything in 25 minutes that we spent two days jimmy jacking around with the primary care doc. there is still no resolution as the urologist recommends a cat scan next tuesday.

they did another ultrasound and told him they saw stones. plural. and a possible blockage. nothing about this sounds fun, so i'm just trying to be superwife and there at his beck and call. so far, so good. it's not too hard when he's passed out 85% of the time.

ugh - wish us luck. 1) we need him to not get sick from the pain meds 2) we need him to not have to use another suppository. i'll just keep that story to myself, but poor guy's traumatized.

the boot

the husband and i are going to see miranda lambert at the georgia national fair this october.


i kind of love her. what i love even more is when all the rednecks on facebook put the opening lyrics of "only prettier" on their facebook status, but that's neither here nor there.

anyway - my besties are going to be there, and i'm so excited to be able to morph a girls night into time also spent with the husband. good times! like any other event i attend, i have to be properly dressed, and i thought there would be no better place for me to wear some shiny new cowboy boots. i've been browsing boots for a couple of years now, but refuse to pay more than $150 because i'm cheap.

i've scouted a few websites and these are some of the options i've come up with :::

these high heel babies are great. i love the round toe, and i'll wear them more because i'm always perched atop some high heels. i'm not a flat wearer. i found these at zappos. roper - $164


i'm kind of liking the cropped boot here. the dark brown is fun; although, i might prefer a camel. rocket dog sheriff - $59.95

these are kind of the front runners. i love love them! dingo - $109

taller boots tend to swallow me. i'm 5'2, and my legs are short tree trunks. these look like they'd come up to my knees, and that would look gross. sm plablo - $119

these i'm not too sure about. i think it's the wonky way the model has her feet. anyway - they are wanted - $74


which ones are your faves? we have plenty of time, and by the time it rolls around, i'm sure i'll have even more options.

Well I've been saved by the grace of Southern charm
I got a mouth like a sailor and yours' is more like a Hallmark card
If you wanna pick a fight, Well I'm gonna have to say goodnight
I don't have to be hateful, I can just say Bless. your. heart.


yeeehaw!

a good day to rant

i can't focus today. instead of knocking out all of the emails in my inbox, i'm perusing perez hilton and coco perez catching up on all the celebrity dirt.

celebrities are ridiculous.

i buy into their shenanigans just like the rest of the country, but i wish i didn't. most of them are stupid people who don't deserve the attention, and the rest of them are clawing at the walls trying to maintain a somewhat normal life - quite unsuccessfully.

reading perez catapults me into full-on rant writing.

• for starters, lady gaga

wtf?

what is wrong with her? this is just...disgusting. first of all, she's apparently relaxing a little after the monster ball. she's still teeny, but she's not dressing her fuller-teeniness in the most flattering way. ripped up fishnets and fishnet cropped shirts are not attractive...on anyone. and that is poor placement of hair extensions...or i guess a poor camouflage job. i'll be the first to tell you that i squealed and jumped up and down at the opportunity to see her on tour last december, but she's taken quite a fall from fabulous in my eyes. pull it together, girl.

• the whole kim kardashian/justin bieber friendship....is ridiculous (and maybe kind of creepy).

i love kim k. i really do. she's so pretty and seems nice enough, but the pairing up with justin bieber? i just don't get it. the get up was for elle magazine, and the article will be called the graduate. is he even one of those yet? doubt it.

• this isn't about celebrities, but it hit close to home...seriously - this is gross...

cockroach pendants. this could be the pony roach that once called my bathroom home. the idea of this makes me want to vomit for days.

while some of you may look at this and love it, i just don't. cockroaches are among the scariest creatures on earth. the girl in the photos can be found at this cute blog that you should definitely check out despite her slightly yucky love for bugs (somebody's gotta do it).

• fantasia's situation is the perfect example of "you can't fix stupid."

making a sex tape is never a good idea. for one, i'm pretty sure it's all very unsexy unless choreographed, and furthermore, when you're a celeb, it's gonna get out. period. when the guy says "hey baby, let's get this on tape" and you're fantasia, you say "nah babe - you married and i'm famous." she was never pegged as the smart one, so i guess all we can say is that we hope she can pull through her aspirin coma and move on. another lesson learned.

stay tuned!

case of the mondays

• things at the office are a little tense today. i work in a team environment, but sometimes it gets a little competitive. one of my co-workers is highly competitive by nature, and when things go wrong in her world and right in mine, the claws kind of come out. i really hate that about my job because, really, when shit's going good in her world, i might kind of hate her a little inside, but i certainly don't show it. i can't help that i'm kind of on top of my game right now....

• i purchased sally hansen's salon manicure in yellow kitty and had my nails freshly manicured. i kind of hate it on my fingers. i think it would look better on darker skin or much lighter skin. my skin has too many yellowish undertones. not to mention, the brush in this particular line of polish is ginormous and throws off the nail people every time resulting in terrible coverage and overall clumsiness. i think this polish will have to be saved for the toes or when i'm reallllly tanned, because i'm real yellow all winter long.

• i've said before that i'm in a constant state of hot flash, so getting ready in the morning, especially at the gym, is uncomfortable because i usually just get ready in my towel. earlier this summer while i was buying everything in target, i came across these little cover ups and picked it up. perfect for getting ready in the morning and even better for the gym...i love my striped one so much that i went back to target last week to see if they still had them, and lucky for me, they did. i had to get this unfortunate leopard print because the other stripes were out of my size, but happy day. it stays up while i'm getting ready and i stay cool. the best $14.99 i've spent!

• i'm having some issues with the wires connecting my amp in my car. i'm not even sure if i need the stupid amp, and at this point, i'm ready to sell it. during my excruciatingly long commute, i need the radio. so when the damn wires come unhooked - in the trunk - because the tightwad person who owned the car before me ripped out the "high dollar connectors" and replaced them with electrical tape, i get realllll pissed off. the wires have come unhooked several times in the past week, so this morning, i was ass up in my trunk, at quiktrip, rewiring the amp and getting all the cords to stay together. if nothing else, i guess i'm learning more useless information.

• did anyone watch last night's episode of trueblood? i need to talk it out with someone...wow.

• knock on wood, the husband is doing much better. back to normal, so that's nice. with that being said, this week is my bitch.
  

giveaway!

i'm thinking about a giveaway!

this is the first one i've ever done!! more details to come!

happy weekend!

• my grandfather is coming over today to spray our house for bugs. having a family member who once owned their own biz is helpful in getting free stuff. exterminator contracts are pricey! who knew? there was a roach the size of texas chilling out on my shower curtain yesterday morning. after screaming and throwing things at it for approximately 15 minutes - at 6 a.m. - it escaped and is now probably bedded down right next to my tube of queen helene.
  

• i'll curl up in bed with a spider before i let a roach live in my house. know this. not sure how i managed four and a half years in milledgeville, georgia where roaches rush the sidewalks like students rush the football field after a major win.
  

• mom and i are getting together today to go look at furniture. the husband and i have the saddest dining room table you've ever seen. we also could use a new couch. this could get dangerous. my mom taught me everything i know about being a shopaholic.

• i missed the last 20 minutes of mad men last week, and it's not on demand yet. i'm kind of freaking out.
  

• has anyone seen fergie's fingernails? if not, here you go. how much do you hate them?::

• i want to make a jewelry board for my bathroom. i want it to be kind of shabby chic, but not too over the top - - and seriously, i keep envisioning chicken wire with hooks for the necklaces. how do i make this, creative ones?

• shiloh jolie pitt is a lesbian. not that there's anything wrong with that, but i think this is the only time i've ever been able to point it out at such a young age.

• my bestie is catching up on the show las vegas that i'm not sure anyone actually watched. she said the character, sam, is like watching me on tv. she said her personality is exactly like mine. not sure if this is a compliment or not, considering i've never watched the show. but she said we kind of look the same... this is sam ::
  

i wish!

happy weekend, folks!!! :)

dress for sale!

i purchased the brown dress below on ebay thinking it was the same fab dress LK has in green.

witness LK's dress ::

me and LK have a few pieces of clothing that are copied from each other.
hardcore girl crushes.

as it turns out, the dress came, and it was the wrong one. while it's still gorgeous and fabulous, i ended up finding and purchasing the right one - meaning that i don't need the wrong one anymore.

here's where i pass my good deal on to my readers before slapping it back up on ebay.

bcbg maxazria | size 6

the measurements are as follows:

bust/chest: 34-36 inches

waist: 32 inches

hips: 42 inches

length: 34 inches

color: chestnut

the dress was slightly big on me, and if i were to keep it, i'd get it taken in a little around the top to fit snug. it hits right above my knee (i'm 5'2 | 34C bra size).

the bcbg tag is still on it, but there is no price. the dress was originally $258. i twisted it, turned it inside out, and looked at every single stitch to make sure it was legit. truthfully, it's great! if someone doesn't buy it, i guess i'll wear it to the husband's christmas party - preplanning at it's best!

so, i'll sell it for $50. if you want it let me know in the comments, and leave your email address. :)

stoner

everything's been kind of crazy since tuesday when the husband called me doubled over in pain requesting that i come home.

so far, i've taken two afternoons off work, one morning, and been sleeping with one eye open just waiting for him to shoot out of bed and need to go to the emergency room. just so you know, we still have the kidney stone. thankfully, he's experiencing a period of relief and no pain, so that's good.

on tuesday the doctor said the only thing she could do to help was provide him with a prescription for lortab (yay! drugs!). being a drug free husband, he only took the pill when he was at level 7 out of 10 in pain, and promptly put himself in bed. he woke up at 2:45 wednesday morning in severe pain again and popped another lortab. i left for work wednesday morning only to go home at 2 because he was violently sick from what he thought was the lortab. he popped another pill at 9 a.m. and promptly threw up at 11:30 and continued to throw up for the rest of the day.

my husband sounds like he is in the throes of death when he vomits.

he vomited so violently, that i ended up calling his mother.

conversation with mother in law ::

me :: so, husband has graduated to vomiting. it's really quite violent. yeah, i'm kind of freaked out.

mil :: oh yeah, when he had his last kidney stone, he burst the blood vessels in his face. he looked like he had a rash.

me :: oh. wow.

mil :: yeah, you should probably take him to the emergency room.

me :: hmmm...ok. should i take him to the emergency room while he's nauseated? i mean, i don't want him to have to be nauseous waiting in the e.r.

mil :: what about his doctor?

me :: yes, of course, the doctor.

so, i called the doctor and the doctor told me that yeah, he could be sick from the lortab, or he could be passing the stone.

so i run into the bathroom, slamming the door into his head as he lays totally helpless. "are you in any pain?!?"

...this kidney stone stuff is a bit confusing. he wasn't in any pain; he was only nauseous, and wouldn't he be in major pain if he were passing it?? the doctor told me that either way, he needed to be supervised while he passes the stone. really? i thought people passed kidney stones everyday without supervision from doctors?

i ended up talking her away from that ledge and told her he wasn't in any pain, and he really did not want to go pass his stone in the e.r....at god knows what time. so, she prescribed some anti-nausea suppositories.

fast forward to the pharmacy where the pharmacist at our walgreens is my new bff. he gave me the recommendations for the over the counter anti-nausea meds i purchased on my first trip that the husband immediately threw up. when i picked up the prescribed meds, he said "you know these are suppositories, right?"

me :: [cracking a smile as i kind of know what a suppository is] what again is a suppository?

pharmacist :: it goes up the bottom [also cracking a smile because he's having to explain this to a 28 year old woman and making a putting a plug up something motion with his hand]

me :: ouch!

pharmacist :: they've probably prescribed this because he can't hold a tablet down.

me :: he will go nowhere near this, but thanks!

i laughed (hard) the whole way to the car. i'm five.

i figured since i've been a supportive wife thusfar, i should probably call and warn him about the buttplugs i've just purchased.

me :: hey sweetie. how ya feeling? listen, i just picked up your meds, and you should know they are suppositories.

husband :: [silence]...what are those?

me :: um...well...they um...you insert it into your ass.

husband :: [silence]

me :: i'm sorry! what should i do?

husband :: [panicked] why didn't they give me a pill? isn't there a pill version?

me :: i suppose there might be, but the pharmacist said you probably couldn't keep a tablet down (the pharmacist is the be all, end all here. i was literally a mile from our house at this point)

husband :: [mumbled something i couldn't understand; hangs up]

me :: hello? .....

the husband went nowhere near the suppositories. they are in our fridge, and when i open it, i laugh (because i'm five).

so, the husband pulled it together for the most part, and fell asleep long enough to sleep off the nausea. it worked, and he woke up later last night feeling a little better. i fed him a ginormous breakfast this morning, and he succeeded in keeping it down, and we're on the road to normal...or just waiting out the ticking time bomb that's floating around in his bladder.

now that i've shared too much info, how was your week?

for better for worse, for sicker for poorer

in other news...

the husband has a kidney stone.

i had to leave work at 11:30 and rush home to take him to the doctor because he was doubled over in pain - 10 out of 10 in intensity, according to him.

they say the pain caused by kidney stones is similar to the pain a woman experiences in childbirth. that would probably explain why he's completely passed out right now. poor thing.

positive? i got to go home early, and that's always fun. marley, pup number two, will finally get a much needed pawdicure. i will take a nap.

negative? the husband still has a kidney stone. "working from home" is kind of pointless. today was totally not my bitch, and i was so planning for that. i've already blown today's point allowance away because of a zaxby's zalad, and they're not even that good.

we'll try this again tomorrow.

why did my asshole blog post the makeup post? dammit, that was for tomorrow.

the makeup post

everyone goes through a lull with their skin. i seem to be "lulling" all at once right now. i'm experiencing a lull in the clothing department, which is a direct result from the lull in body image or actual body size, so a makeup lull fits in perfectly. this is going to be an expensive one.

for now, i'm going to focus on the easy - the makeup.

i've been a hopelessly devoted mac studio fix user since...i can't remember. probably high school - definitely early college. after too many pictures of my shiny face or total lack of makeup all together, i booked it to sephora to consult with the experts.

i'm particular. there are quite a few products with some sort of shimmer in them. i. hate. shimmer. i'm not snooki. i'm going for a smooth, clean look.

the main problem was the shine. i don't have what i consider oily skin - it's normal. i like it a little on the dry side to keep the pimples at bay, and i'm not a big user of facial moisturizer because of the grease. despite all of this, i was still gross and shiny after a day at work or two hours into an event. total crap.

the professionals at sephora suggested i switch things up. i knew they were telling me the truth when they didn't shove products down my throat, but offered samples to try - and hefty samples at that. not only do they offer the samples, they also offer a 30 day money back guarantee on any product - even if it's opened and used (this may be all old news to you, but i've been shopping at the mac counter and gilt - so new news to me!). this way, we can buy new products worry-free as they all cost upwards of $30 - 40 a piece, and you know how cheap i am!

now that i've been given some samples, i can make an educated decision about what new products make their way into my highly exclusive makeup bag (highly exclusive in that smashbox and covergirl are about to become bff's).
first up - murad oil-control mattifier. um...i. love. this. junk. the associate gave me a sample of this product, and i'm not totally sure i can live without it now. it's light. it contains an SPF, which is healthy and something i normally don't find important (go figure - i'm going to look 50 when i'm 35). it stops my greasy face from being greasy (amazing). i just dab it around my t-zone. it's a steal at $39.50 because it would take me forever to get through this tube. a little bit goes a long way.

next, smashbox photo finish light primer. i'm a smashbox fan. i had another primer they offered. it ran out quickly, and i moved to mac's prep and prime line - truthfully, nothing's better than smashbox. worth every penny (somewhere in the $36 range). once the murad sets in, i dab this all over (another sample the nice sephora associate provided me with). not only does it work whatever magic primer's do, it has an oil fighting ingredient. between the two, my face should be seriously matte.

after the associate listened to me drone on about my love for studio fix and my complete inability to understand why it's made me shiny - she suggested sephora's collection of powder foundation, or the technical term, mattifying compact foundation. i went ahead and bought this - it's only $20.

my thought was that i'd go super big on the foundation powder. i'll spend what i have to spend because i apply with a brush (i'm sure alexa on jerseylicious would have something to say about that, but whateva!), and typically my compacts last six months. i've been itching to start my love affair with laura mercier, but my hatred for liquid foundation runs deep. i'm pretty sure i haven't found a foundation powder she offers. after a couple of weeks using sephora's collection, i'm pretty happy. i can tell my makeup sets cleaner and stays put all day - i'm not sure if i should attribute this to the powder, mattifyer or primer. i'm just going to go with it. no need to mess with genius.

one of my readers called sephora sensory overload, and they are correct. not only do i have a solid shopping list for my next trip, but i also have a few products i'm curious about. i thought i'd add them to this list, and if you've used them, you can give me a review (orrrr..I can just go get a sample!).

while we're talking about foundation powders, these two sparked some interest ::

philosophy's supernatural. because there's a scary sponge involved, i'm a little nervous. i hate using the same sponge to put makeup on day after day. a brush feels cleaner; although, i know they also get gross, and i don't wash mine nearly as often as i should. anyone used this?...
benefit's hello flawless. i love benefit's products. they are solid and always worth the money. this one might get the go ahead next time around.

hold the phone! it's laura mercier!! there is a reason why i want to start a relationship here. several co-workers of mine are as devoted to LM as i to mac. i've also had my first LM experience with a compact on crack (the loving name i've given it) that includes a lipstick/gloss palate and equally amazing eye shadow palate that i scored way on sale at gilt. the makeup goes on so smooth and stays that way all day. my co-worker who uses only LM has fantastic makeup when she's in the mood to complete the process (i mean that in the most loving way possible).
smashbox anti-shine. it's cooling? all you have to say is it's cooling, and i'll buy it. i'm like a 55 year old woman experiencing the worst symptoms of menopause right now. i am in a constant state of hot flash.

this might make the most sense. smashbox photo finish bronzing primer. perfecto! i need this! i wonder if this has the secret oil fighting ingredient? to me, the most important part about the bronzer is the lack of shimmer and overall look on the skin. i want it to be natural enough to wear alone. i do not want to look like a have a bronzer-stache, snooki.

i think this is a good stopping point. i'm fighting the urge to continue with countless tubes of lipgloss options and eyeshadows but i suppose if you wanted to see all sephora has to offer, you'd just go and get some samples! happy shopping, friends, and do leave your best makeup suggestions/finds in the comments.

rando time!

• the president's in my hood. or my work hood, and i'd like to blow this place before his motorcade effs traffic all to hell and back.
  

• i re-joined weight watchers yesterday. the stretch marks on my hips were the final straw. i'm apparently growing at a rapid speed, and i've decided to get it under control before it's too out of control.
  

• i'm kind of over work today. my hangover has decided to take two days to get out of my system.

• because of the above bullet, i'm doing minimal work.

• tomorrow will be my bitch.

• seems my father is coming to town to visit, and he'd like to "work on our relationship." i don't get into too many details about it because it's a long drawn out story that's not that interesting. i wish i could say that it was all beaver cleaver, but definitely not. i also wish i could say that i'm pumped, but the feeling is mostly neutral.

• i'm going to start a serious marketing campaign at work tomorrow. i mean, serious. hopefully the pain and sound of my stomach growling won't be easily heard over the phone.

• trueblood ended 10 minutes early last night. it also ended in a really juicy spot. hbo, you did this once last season - i remember because i pitched a holy fit right there. let's take up the whole time slot please. on notice until next week.

• i fell asleep for the last 20 or so minutes of mad men. hitting up my dvr tonight for the rest. i trust that amc did not skeeze us out of the last 10.
  

• the husband's birthday was saturday. i was going to write a birthday post, and i might write a belated birthday post depending on my plan. we were busy from the time we woke up until bed at 3:30 sunday morning. the husband doesn't enjoy going to the movies, but he asked to go see a movie on saturday. what did he suggest we see? dinner for schmucks. i'll never get those two hours back. i do not recommend; husband, however, was rolling on the floor. he. loved. it. ..so i guess mission accomplished?

pull it together pt I

at 28, i'm more of a disaster after too many drinks than i was at 22. maybe because at 22, it was sort of my lifestyle, and now, at my ripe old age, when i'm confronted with an open bar, i get a little too excited at all the possibilities.

last night, at our friends' engagement soiree, after countless kettle one vodka, sprite/splash of cranberries, i did the following ::

• got tipsy before the ceremony even began

• called good friends' step-mom who's always been called amy, kelly. all night. even told people who didn't know her name, that her name was kelly. her name is amy.
  

• fell off my heels

• did the diwali dance from the office

• got in trouble by hilton employees for using the back of the house as my secret restroom shortcut

• gave the husband one of my besties number for him to call her at 2a.m. to discuss our trip to perry in october to see miranda lambert (she answered, and she loves him - it was all good)

• ate a cheeseburger, fries and fried calamari at 2:15a.m.

• attempted to take "red snapper" shot, ordered by the husband who does not drink liquor. failed miserably, ordered wine.

• walked back to hotel in questionable area - picture the scene of a drive by shooting - yup, that was us, walking back.

some pictures from the evening...

couple of the hour

of course

stupid red snappers

there were no celebs here, trust.

i'm never drinking again.