hard to kick

how pretty is this pink glow?  image via

I'm snowed iced in.  ICED in.  There's a nice crispy layer of ice on top of the snow piled up in our yard.  Pretty?  Maybe for a little while - approximately one hour for me - but then it becomes annoying.

Right now?  Approximately 15 hours after I woke up this morning, the husband is wearing a ski hat, with his ears poked out like an elf, and he insists on making me watch every play of the National Championship...he's quite hyper (as am I for 11pm), and I'd just like to blog...in peace.  This is the result of us being cooped up inside our much too small house for the entire day....alone...together.

So, what have I done today?  Well, I worked for the bulk of it, but our office was closed so the workload was light.  I drooled all over Urban Outfitters new spring catalog that prompted me to go to their website and stock up on this spring's wants/needs.  Once I was finished shopping for more clothes I don't need, I moved to shopping for a new house we need (not really) but can't have....I shopped inside the perimeter (i.e. closer to the city) because after today, I need a house where some kind of entertainment is within walking distance.  Even though we are not house hunting, I know every single house in our price range and some out of our price range in the desired area of our hood that we'd like to move.  My justification is that I am just one of those who likes to know what's out there.  Once I was finished shopping for my new East Point or Decatur home (East Point has several winners - I was almost in tears at the adorableness), I shopped for the furniture the husband and I will definitely be purchasing as soon as I log off urbanoutfitters.com. 

Old habits die hard.  Hey, at least I don't pull the trigger on all these purchases...

I'm like the Airstream Song by Miranda Lambert - never satisfied....and that's annoying.  This is what an ice day will do to me.  I'm entirely too high strung to spend this many hours, feeling perfectly healthy, cooped up inside my house.  The better news?  Tomorrow will play out the same way, and there's an even dirtier rumor that this mess may not clear up until Saturday.

If that's the case, I'll be a force to be reckoned with.  I'm sure the husband will have taken his chances by then and escorted me out to the civilization known as the mall or at the very least, a Mexican dinner. 

I know some of you readers live up north, but you have to know we southern dwellers are not equipped for driving in ice or even handling such temperatures coming in contact with our skin.  Misery.

So, if you don't hear from me over the course of this week, you'll know someone has actually died of boredom.

is this thing on?

I've discussed the way me and the husband argue. 

We argue over things that are so infuriatingly stupid that I swear we get angrier than those who fight about things that actually matter because what we're fighting about is just so stupid.

I bought the husband a Big Green Egg for Christmas (cue Best Wife Ever cheer & applause).  He's so happy, he's glowing, and it truly makes my heart happy to make him so happy - giving is so much more fun than receiving - especially when you buy yourself little gifts while shopping for others. 

Little did I know that I was creating a bit of a monster....(actually, I take that back...anyone could see that he was becoming obsessed). 

I digress...

The husband is the cook at our house.  I always say he wasn't being properly fed by me, so he had to improvise.  He comes by it honestly - domesticity runs in his family.  Turns out, we're the perfect match because it doesn't run in mine.  So, I purchased him a cookbook called Southern Plate.  He picked it out when we were in Florida, and I stumbled across it at Sam's.  Since the arrival of the cookbook, we've been eating good.  He makes this fried chicken with "come back sauce."  The chicken is breaded in saltine crackers and fried like normal - they say the saltines make it less fatty (or maybe he just told me that).  Either way, he's created a monster in me by cooking that meal.  A Fried Chicken Monster.  I pretty much crave the chicken and the "come back sauce" weekly. 

I specifically bought a giant pack of chicken tenders for him to fry up.  Yesterday, while I was working from home, the craving hit like a ton of bricks.  It's cold outside - give me something fatty and yummy to eat for dinner.  My spare tire isn't quite big enough yet.  When he came home, we had this exchange...

me: 

I'm thawing this big pack of chicken tenders and thought maybe you could fry up that chicken and we can make some "come back sauce."

husband:

 [sleepily]  yaaaaaaaaaaa-unghhhh

The noise that came out of him while I suggested we have the fried chicken so closely resembled a "yes" that I thought we were clear on the fact that I. Want. Fried. Chicken. For. Dinner. Damnit.

So, I left him to rest.  I gave him strict instructions to call me if my work computer started making the incoming email noise often enough to require my return.  So, he calls me when I'm leaving Target.  All of my Christmas Spirit has been stolen by the shitty cart I'm pushing and the masses of slow ass people wandering through Target, clearly just beginning their Christmas shopping.  Phone conversation plays out as follows:

me:

 yup?

husband: 

you told me to call you if your computer started acting crazy.  Smoke was coming out of the sides, so I threw it in the bathtub to cool it off.

me: 

oh - very funny.  chuckle chuckle

(sneer - my chicken better be in the fryer)

husband: 

 so, what do you want for dinner?

me:

  oh, well, I was thinking we could make the fried chicken...unless you'd rather go grab something.

(the only thing that will make this okay is if he suggests Mexican)

husband: 

oh, well, I was thinking of cooking them on the egg.  I've already started marinating them.

me: 

oh?

husband: 

is that not okay?

me: 

um.....well, I mean......no, it's fine.

(okay, I'm secretly angry)

husband: 

okay, when will you be home? 

me: 

I don't know.  I'm out in this shit, and I still need to go to Kroger

I was seething from anger about the fact that he MARINATED the chicken tenders I purchased SPECIFICALLY for my favorite fried chicken.  If he didn't want to make the chicken, he should have made a noise that resembled more of a "no" than a "yes."  Not cool.

I drive to the grocery store - PISSED - so I send a BBM....

me: 

if you don't mind, don't cook all of the tenders.  I purchased it specifically for the fried chicken because it's delicious leftover

(in my mind - grilled chicken gets hard and gross the next day and THAT'S why I don't eat leftovers)

husband: 

 Well, I've already marinated all of it.  Apparently I've really effed up - you clearly wanted the fried chicken.

me: 

Well, yeah.  We agreed on it.

husband: 

when did we agree on it?  You said last week that you wished I wouldn't cook it so much because of the calories!

Here's where his "selective hearing" kicks in. 

First of all, when I said he needed to lay off cooking the fried chicken tenders, I was stuffing one in my mouth while simultaneously dipping the next one in "come back sauce."  Lay off cooking the chicken means "only cook the chicken when I request it."  Duh.  It also means "awww...sweetheart, you shouldn't have, but I'm so glad you did...nom nom nom nom nommmmm." 

Also, he AGREED that family time over preparing "come back sauce" sounded great...that's what "yaaaaaaaaaaa-unghhhh" means. 

So, we proceeded to send snippy BBMs back and forth until my Blackberry died - which pissed him off even more because, turns out, he thought I turned my phone off.

I came home to this grilled-ass chicken, and yeah, it was good.  I had it over a SALAD since I was so rudely reminded of my caloric intake. 

And we proceeded to not speak to each other for the majority of the evening.  I mean, things are good now.  It's Christmas Eve!  But seriously?  I think someone here learned a lesson yesterday...

WHEN THE CRANKY WOMAN SAYS SHE WANTS EFFING FRIED CHICKEN, YOU MAKE EFFING FRIED CHICKEN.  THE EGG WILL ALWAYS BE THERE, YOU MAY NOT AFTER THE WOMAN GOES BATSHIT CRAZY ON YOUR ASS. 

Merry Christmas.

women are normal...and men are definitely from mars...if not there, somewhere equally non-normal

i told myself long before i started kindredly that i wasn't going to write too much about my personal relationships...i think i was pretty good at sticking to it, but there are days like today when i just can't hold in.

this weekend was supposed to be relaxing.  i start my new job on monday (yay!) and other than last night's GNO (crazy - save for another post), my plans were to totally veg.  catch up on my sleep, clean the house, do a little shopping, etc.

the husband called me yesterday when i was in the car with my friend amanda.  one of his chemical reps from work offered him two tickets to the UGA/Auburn game for today.  he asked me if i'd like to go (such a dear), but knowing all the napping that still needed to be done, i declined.  he called several friends, but apparently, none of them are the fly-by-the-seat-of-their-pants type because they all declined.  after exhausting several efforts, the husband tells me that he's just going to go to the game by himself....

what?

i feel like i need to say that i get the loner types - i am one.  i don't shy away from a lunch alone with a magazine or book...or a solo movie date...i'm down, but the husband will go camping alone...and now he'll apparently drive to auburn to go to a football game alone.  um...weird.

of course, i'm feeling kind of rejected - like, why are you going to waste your entire day doing all of that ALONE when you can keep your original plans with me to relax, work a little in the yard and go out for a mexican dinner date after the game is over?  (I will even be your DD!)

when i politely suggested he let his rep pass the tickets to two people who WANT to go TOGETHER, he got bitchy, so then i got bitchy...and now, we're bitchy.  when i thought he'd score himself a friend to take, i rescheduled lunch plans with my mom for today instead of sunday, so i offered to move them back to sunday if he decided to stay in town (you know, thinking that maybe he'd like to take some of the pressure off and actually relax with his wife).


this is what he says to me::

husband :  nah, you keep your plans with your mom

me : well, she's more than willing to reschedule for tomorrow, it's no big deal

husband :  well, when i get back from picking up the tickets, i'm going to come sit on the couch, and if i get a wild hair and decide i'd rather be in auburn, then i'm going to go...

me :  well, just go, damnit!

husband : no!  not after this conversation, i'm not going...

me : but you just said that you might get a wild hair and go...sounds to me like maybe you should just go ahead and go...OR are you just trying to get rid of me because while you watch the game you're going to be pissed you're not there?

husband :  yeah, i'll probably be pretty pissed off....

me : great.

the argument continued in circles for about 80% of my car ride back to the burbs from GNO...nothing getting accomplished except a bunch of smart ass remarks exchanged.  but SERIOUSLY - it's a f*cking lose/lose situation here...anyone else noticed this?

i. am. in. bizarro. world.  for serious, people.  what is happening here?

so, guess what's happening right now - right this second?  i'm sitting here, in my bedroom, surrounded by laundry to be folded, pissed. off., and now planning to have lunch with my mom.  when i complain about these things to her, she tends to help calm me down while at the same time rawling me up...it's crazy.  hopefully after lunch and a little retail therapy, i will go back to loving my husband again.  right now, in all truthfulness, i kind of want to hit him. 

i really don't appreciate being confronted with a lose/lose situation by the man who's supposed to love me like nobody's business.  i mean, way to set me up and make me realllllly angry in the process.

MEN.  i swear.  can't live with them; can't live without them.

more random for your monday

sorry guys - seems these days i'm made up of nothing but random thoughts and clothing posts.  mondays are usually always reserved for the random as i'm recovering from my 5:40 a.m. wake up call...

• fact - i will have a total hissy fit when i don't get what i want in the decorating department.  it dawned on me, not for the first time, that i'd really like to move our television in between the front windows in our living room.  not only does it fit - perfectly, i measured - it will make the set-up of the room finally make sense to me.   it will also allow the proper space needed for my christmas tree, which is going up here indirectly.  turns out, the husband is not going to move mountains (or cable cords) to make this happen for me, and he's told me the cable company (eff you, charter) will charge upwards of $100.  there has got to be a handy man near who can make this happen for less than that...i think this will be the focus on my days off this week.  my fabulous grandmother suggested we sign up for direct tv (giving them the $100 referral incentive) and someone from direct will come and put my cable where i want it!  ....that's a thought.
• this is my last 1/2 week at my current company.  i know - a three-week notice is a bit much, but timing really is terrible.  i do have to say that i'm ready to blow this popsicle stand and get on with my new, shiny job.  the anticipation is nearly killing me.  my bosses, of course, think otherwise and are really pushing me to keep doing my job as if i'm never leaving.  the urge to transition some things to other people is strong....and kind of necessary, might i add.  wednesday, please hurry.
• i blogged on kindredly about the crazy lymph node thing that popped up on my face last winter.  it comes and goes, which would make sense if it were a lymph node, but i thought lymph nodes had designated areas where they generally pop up - the jaw not being one.  the bump sits right on my jaw, and right now it's kind of tender.  truthfully, i'm a little worried and think i should maybe consider seeing a doctor.  my dentist friend told me that she thinks it could be a calcium deposit from my incessant clenching (stems from anything - stress, excitement or anger - i'm looney!).  either way, if i'm going to the doctor, i need to get that done this week.  i'm not really into asking for time off in the first couple of weeks on the job.  but what doctor to i see?  the general practitioner has told me it's a lymph node. 
• this bullet is kind of gross - and you know how much i hate for people to talk about their children's "issues" and bodily functions on Facebook and Twitter (although, this is my blog, and I reserve the right to write about poop all day every day if i want to), but i have to get some input.  mia, my oldest beagle-child, has started eating poop.  correction - she's always eaten poop, but it tapered off enough to be a non-issue.  well, she's started back again, and soon after she eats it, she comes in the house and pukes it up...everywhere.  on the hardwoods (nbd), on the carpet (not cool), on the bed (holy shit, i will kill you), and on the bed while we're sleeping (dead. dog-child.)  let me just say that naturally, it smells like shit (duh), but i mean, it's worse... the husband and i could be dead to the world, and when she pukes in the bed, we shoot out of bed.  this has lead to constantly washing the duvet, changing the sheets in the middle of the night, and shampooing the carpet at 2 a.m. (on a school night, no less).  i know the obvious answer to this is to kick her out of the bed, and we've done that.  being a spoiled beagle-child, she doesn't believe in sitting on the floor.  she goes straight to the couch where she will puke as well...on my white couch,  so i've washed the cushion covers on the couch at randoms hours as well.  i've googled it, and i get results from not getting enough nutrients (my ass - her food is holistic and costs me $50/bag) to being bored (!!!!).  either way, it has to stop.  dog owner readers - anyone dealing with this?  please! wisdom!
• we had friends over this past saturday, and i don't know how it's possible that i'm still recovering from it.  we even gained an hour with falling back.  torture...today. is. torture.
• i'm throwing around the idea of getting acrylic nails just like my current boss - see photo... i spend just as much money getting my nails repainted weekly (and i always upgrade to a manicure because i feel like they are judging my cuticles and are annoyed they have to waste their time on a $3-5 job...and the massage is always a plus).  my cuticles are going to hate me because of all of this cuticle cutting going on WEEKLY, so i can just bite the bullet and get short acrylics, and the paint will stay.  gel nails have not successfully made it to the suburbs, and i'm kind of getting used to this place near my house since i'm not totally sure if my lunch hour at my new job permits nail appointments (i'm sure it does, but just being prepared).  i'm also coming off of a great run with essie's ballet slippers, so i wouldn't mind making that my acrylics' signature color (that might even be what my boss has on here).  if i was feeling frisky, i could also have them go a different color - it's not like i'm getting claws or french manicure!  what do you guys think?  ruin my current nails (which are great) to save some money and time? 

 

• i got all caught up on Real Housewives of Atlanta yesterday.  i didn't get up from the couch for something like five hours, so i caught the marathon. i have to say that i don't mind nene's nose, and i feel like her plastic surgeon did a really good job... and i want to slap phaedra.  what was all that mess with the former destiny's child singer?  are you a lawyer or a publicist?  oh, and you should know how far along you are in your pregnancy.  and please get off of your southern woman kick. 
• also made the mistake of watching The Time Traveler's Wife yesterday.  seriously?  weird.   i also watched The Lovely Bones.  Alice Sebold is probably one of my favorite authors, and that book totally goes down as one of my favorites.  a bit weird, but mark walberg is gorgeous.  the colors in the movie were really pretty too...

that's all for now...random, but seriously, i need opinions on the acrylic nail debate and what to do about my disgusting dog.  

mondays are for the random pt II

image via

• i hurt my back this past saturday loading a ginormous bag of dog food into the trunk of my car.  lord help, i'm dying right now.  how old am i again?
• i totally almost got into another bad car accident this saturday.  i was in a hurry, stopped for a fresco taco, and then totally slung my taco into the dash of my car swerving to miss a wannabe bentley that was so suddenly in my lane.  do you know how hard it is to get pico de gallo out of AC vents?  it was seriously a total miracle that we did not hit.  the swervage was promptly followed by a complete mental breakdown. 
• me and the boss lady determined my last day of work - i get two days of decompression before i start the new job.  i'm ready for those two days - totally checked out.
• the husband and i went to our friends house for a GA/FL party Saturday afternoon.  it was a mixture of people, some we knew and some we didn't.  yesterday when i spoke to my girlfriend about her party's success, she said that one of her friends didn't "get a read" on whether or not i liked her.  then she went on to mention that i come across as kind of bitchy if you don't know me.  while this isn't exactly new news, it's something i haven't heard about since college - and this time, the overall impression was totally unwarranted seeing as there wasn't really any opportunity for me and the friend to talk.  i guess i'm just worried about it because a) i'm going into a new job, and coming across as a bitch is kind of terrible and can't happen and b) if i come across as a bitch before i even extend my hand to meet you, shit, i'm in the wrong business.
• in addition to above bullet, i was kind of in a weird mood on saturday.  i felt rushed and strung out...so i guess that could have something to do with it...and lately when i get drunk, i have no filter.
• i purchased myself some new workout shoes this weekend.  ya'll, i haven't purchased a new pair of tennis shoes since college.  terrible.  now, let's just hope this new pair of shoes will motivate me to get in the gym this week!
• speaking of gyms, my new company pays toward their employees' gym memberships.  turns out, there's a swanky gym in my new building, and my new company was supposedly the main reason the gym moved in (hopefully this means they offer an employee rate) - anywhooo - they offer a 6:15 spin class every morning.  you know how i've been freaking out about making it to work on time?  i think i've discovered my answer.  the new gym will supposedly take care of everything for you, so all i have to do is roll out of bed and remember to bring work clothes. 
• which brings me to my next idea - should i buy special spinning shoes??
• oh oh oh!  how many times can i say 'totally' in one post.  geeeeeeez..............

i can make it

• it might surprise you that even though today is my thursday, i'm managing to be in a less than stellar mood.  this was also the general attitude i had yesterday.  i'm 100% over it, and when i get like this, i'm one bad cold call away from a total hissy fit. 

• this morning my commute was a total debacle.  it's days like today when i should have the right to turn my car around and go back to bed and start over.  i wasn't even five miles from my house when i saw a school bus narrowly miss running over the honda in front of me.  children went flying.  i'm talking - FLYING.  my {imaginary} children will NEVER ride the bus.  this happens just after news of a school bus accident yesterday leaving a child dead.  i remember when i rode the bus (for like one year), there were no seatbelts...seriously?  put seatbelts in the bus!  i don't know for certain, but i bet that kid this morning went face first into the dash.  

• can school buses really not go in reverse?  husband, if you're reading this, you've succeeded in making me potentially look like a total idiot, but i love you anyway. :) 

• where is master p?  he didn't get pinched, did he?   "i got the hookup, holla if you hear me"

• my week is looking like i'll have candidates interviewing both days i'm out of the office.  i'm happy....i really am...but damnit, can't i just VACATION???  

• i'm excited about this...not the giveaway (because i never win anything), but the line.  bring on a satchel!  if any of you readers happen to be good at winning things, go "like" target on facebook, and enter to win! 

• it's cold in atlanta, ya'll.  i'm excited about a return to 80 degree temps this weekend and a little time out in the sun - then fall/winter can take over.  once we're home, i'm taking on the yard.  

• would any of my atlanta readers want to join some networking groups with me?  i have a slight insecurity about networking by myself, so anyone who isn't my competition, but would like to also make contacts, hit me up.  

this is all for now... my readers have skipped out on me - i've even lost a follower.  i didn't think that happened.  

superstitious

every. single. time. i say that things are going good at work, a deal falls through.

never again.

i have never considered myself a superstitious person until now. remember last time i was having a rough day, and i said "i think my candidate's gonna get the job"? well, she didn't. despite telling her she was "perfect for the position" they went with another choice and didn't even include my candidate in the top two! then yesterday, i blogged and said things were going good with work - i was referring to my client who is interviewing like crazy (which hasn't fallen apart - yet), and my candidate who rocked her interview so much so that my boss said "i think she's the ringer.".....they offered the job to the candidate who interviewed at 5 and blew the minds of everyone involved.

eff this noise.

i was venting to my co-worker this morning, and she responded with "it happens all the time. get used to it." well, i know it happens all the time, and i know you become heinous when it does - can we please let me wallow without your standard veteran remark of "welcome to recruiting!!!"

manicure please. going to get one at lunch.

get me out of here

only because today's a half day, and homegoods is calling my name before traffic gets terrible.

i could stay in downtown all day and report back the fun-ness that is happening here. DragonCon is in full swing, and they DON'T mess around.

last night, the husband and i went to the braves game.
i ate at meehan's with my girlfriend for lunch, so i was trying to not completely blow my diet by getting a chargrilled salad from chick-fil-a. i ended up having to give up on the gross salad about two bites in, and moved on to the wine hubby brought. two small glasses while tailgating turned into a bacardi and diet coke once inside the stadium, that then turned into a giant piece of cheese pizza, then another glass of wine.

i'm hungover today.

and i feel kind of gross. naturally.

when we got home, our high maintenance dogs were all over us to play. i headed straight for bed only to wake up at 3 am to mia, little pig dog, howling in the back yard. waking up and actually getting out of bed is the worst thing in the middle of the night. i swear, it takes me forever to get back to sleep - so when my alarm went off at 5:45, I reset it for six, then snoozed until 6:20. as i was peeling myself out of bed, mia vomited all over the bed, in the sheets, on the floor - narrowly missing my phone and me. m#*th$%eff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm hungover! tired! hungover! zitty! hungover! headache! and now cleaning up vomit - laced with loropetalum leaves. YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. oh, and cleaning my carpet - with the effing little green. (no, she's not sick. she's hungry because she's on a diet, so she eats POOP and leaves and throws it up 100% of the time she eats it. can we say stubborn?)

why do dogs love to eat this?

this catpults me into a rage - very unbecoming - the husband had already left for work, and i'm screaming profanities at the top of my lungs.

i needed breakfast.

coffee made my tummy hurt.

mia's vomit made me dry heave.

truthfully, the best part about today has been driving into downtown to the people attending DragonCon. ..and my breakfast of veggie eggs, sausage, tater tots, grits and mr. pibb from cafe moma. deeeeelish.

happy friday, folks. let's all have a good long weekend!

may the force be with you.

grrr.....

today didn't really go as planned. i attempted productivity but failed miserably.

at about 3pm, my throat started hurting. isn't it strange when that happens? like, one minute i'm feeling a little drowsy and suffering from a slight headache, and the next minute, i'm straight up allergy attacking. it's getting progressively worse, and for the life of me, i can't remember if mucinex d will keep me awake all night. i'm not willing to risk it.

i have a new client appointment tomorrow. i desperately need to get back on my sales bandwagon and get some new clients. i also need this to go well, so that i can make some more money. in other news, work is going great, and i'm challenged, which is fun. however, the most challenging part of my day lately is keeping focused. i need the beach trip to hurry up and get here.

i'm heading to bluffton, south carolina next weekend to visit my old co-worker and girl crush. i seriously cried when she left my company, and i don't cry. she mentioned something about a wine cruise. two words :: i'm there. we may take a day trip into savannah or hilton head or just hang out at her amazing place in palmetto bluff. can't. wait.

i had words with my endocrinologist today. he refused my synthroid (which i kind of have to take...daily) because i didn't have plans to come into the office. the nurse told me that i "haven't been coming" which is total shit because i came six months ago and was poked and prodded and nearly strangled because this doctor refuses to think i'm telling him the truth when i say i do not have my effing thyroid. i'm almost 29 years old - if it hasn't grown in 29 years, i'm pretty sure it won't be making an appearance. ijs. luckily, my boss comes from a family of doctors, so she's recommended a couple of endos closer to my office.

after i finally won and got my prescription filled, i found myself near my nail place. i treated myself to a mani/pedi, and while my pedicure is adorable, my manicure is total shit. it looks terrible, and the newbie technician spent all of 25 seconds painting them. did i ask for a refund? no. did i ask for her to redo them? no. i didn't do anything. i sat there with a pissed off look on my face and made a whole lot of noise as i left with still wet nails. i really need lessons on how to not be a doormat in these situations. i just hate the awkwardness of saying "um...no. redo this." because it's not like i'm going to get a new technician. the one who destroyed them to begin with will have to redo them, and she'll be pisssed about it. i'd rather just pay for the stupid manicure (along with perfectly acceptable tip, might i add) than deal with that uncomfortable situation. i'll learn one day. i think i just broke up with my nail salon.

friday, please? or at least an awesome thursday, and by that i mean my candidate totally rocks her interview and i totally rock my client appointment. that will make this whole randomly terrible week all worth it.

dear charter, i hate your face.

i'm not one who gets all in a tizzy about things like cable.

i'm the high maintenance viewer who has to have dvr - because i refuse to be on anyone else's time.

also, i'm the high maintenance viewer who has to have hbo for fabulous shows like trueblood and big love. because sometimes they are the only shows worth watching.

but here's the deal. i hate charter communications because they nickle and dime you to death. i'm pretty sure i'm paying a router lease fee for MY ROUTER. the one i purchased at best buy.

back before we purchased our house, i was deep into my love affair with comcast. i know some people hate comcast, but let me tell you, our dvr box worked, our internet was always up, and the cable guy was this big burly man who liked to talk about shopping (at first i thought it was likely the husband would come home to find me dead, but we ended up gabbing for a really long time as he was setting up my wireless. further proof you should never judge a book by it's cover).

when we moved to the country two years ago, i was extremely upset to discover that charter had a monopoly on our area. it was charter or direct tv, and direct tv is confusing. so, i begrudgingly signed up for stupid charter, and i've hated them since. i try to give them the benefit of the doubt, but my cable/internet bill is effing $173/month, and they routinely call me to promote their "savings plan" of adding a phone line for $180/month. there's a serious lack of attention to detail with their sales people. i know it's only $7, but i'm sure there is some monthly charge for having my own phone attached to the wall. our cable doesn't go out, but our dvr box never works. the whole deal will lock up in the middle of riveting television and we're shit out of luck. when we call charter to handle the situation, they respond by saying "just bring your box to our office, and we'll give you another one." no thanks, charter. i'm not driving to bumblef*ck for you to give me another refurbished, busted up box. our internet goes down - everyday. so instead of listening to the husband bitch and moan, i called charter.

convo went like this::

me :: hi, my intenet is down, and really, it's down every single day.

CC :: oh, i'm so sorry, let me look at your account.

me :: .....

CC :: i'm not showing any outages in your area, so let me try to repair the problem.

me :: i've already reset the router.

CC :: good, now turn off your computer.

me :: ok.

CC :: now, i'm going to send a technician out to diagnose the problem. of course, if it's on your end, we'll have to charge you - unless you sign up for the charter plan called another bullshit way to take your money.

me :: um....no.

CC :: ok, ma'am. have you restarted your computer?

me :: yes. well, lookie here - it works.

CC :: did you still want me to send technician to your home to diagnose the problem? again, if it's on your end, we will have to charge you, unless you sign up for the bullshit way to take your money plan, in which case, it would be covered.

me :: how much is the bullshit way to take my money plan?

CC :: it's an extra $5/month.

me :: no.

ok...five dollars a month isn't a big deal, but it's the principle. now that i know they are charging me a lease fee for my own router, all of the problems should be on their end. i'm not letting some douchebag cable dude come out to my house to tell me some jibberish about wires and lines that my house has somehow eaten; therefore, making my internet woes my problem and making me responsible for a $100 fee for looking at a cord.

@chartergeorge on twitter keeps hitting me up to call and have them fix my problem. um....no thank you. now that i know that rebooting my computer will do the trick, i'll just stick with that until comcast rides in on it's white horse and saves me.

on notice...

a good day to rant

i can't focus today. instead of knocking out all of the emails in my inbox, i'm perusing perez hilton and coco perez catching up on all the celebrity dirt.

celebrities are ridiculous.

i buy into their shenanigans just like the rest of the country, but i wish i didn't. most of them are stupid people who don't deserve the attention, and the rest of them are clawing at the walls trying to maintain a somewhat normal life - quite unsuccessfully.

reading perez catapults me into full-on rant writing.

• for starters, lady gaga

wtf?

what is wrong with her? this is just...disgusting. first of all, she's apparently relaxing a little after the monster ball. she's still teeny, but she's not dressing her fuller-teeniness in the most flattering way. ripped up fishnets and fishnet cropped shirts are not attractive...on anyone. and that is poor placement of hair extensions...or i guess a poor camouflage job. i'll be the first to tell you that i squealed and jumped up and down at the opportunity to see her on tour last december, but she's taken quite a fall from fabulous in my eyes. pull it together, girl.

• the whole kim kardashian/justin bieber friendship....is ridiculous (and maybe kind of creepy).

i love kim k. i really do. she's so pretty and seems nice enough, but the pairing up with justin bieber? i just don't get it. the get up was for elle magazine, and the article will be called the graduate. is he even one of those yet? doubt it.

• this isn't about celebrities, but it hit close to home...seriously - this is gross...

cockroach pendants. this could be the pony roach that once called my bathroom home. the idea of this makes me want to vomit for days.

while some of you may look at this and love it, i just don't. cockroaches are among the scariest creatures on earth. the girl in the photos can be found at this cute blog that you should definitely check out despite her slightly yucky love for bugs (somebody's gotta do it).

• fantasia's situation is the perfect example of "you can't fix stupid."

making a sex tape is never a good idea. for one, i'm pretty sure it's all very unsexy unless choreographed, and furthermore, when you're a celeb, it's gonna get out. period. when the guy says "hey baby, let's get this on tape" and you're fantasia, you say "nah babe - you married and i'm famous." she was never pegged as the smart one, so i guess all we can say is that we hope she can pull through her aspirin coma and move on. another lesson learned.

stay tuned!