Starbucks, it's not you, it's me

It's funny that one of my Anon commenters recently PISSED me off with the the comment about living outside of my means.  While I want people to comment on my blog, I'd rather people who do not know me lay off leaving insulting comments behind the safety of anonymity.  Either way, the comment came at the best time.  In living within our means and making more of them, the husband and I have implemented some money saving ideas.  Everyone would like to have a little more money in their bank account, and every time I swipe my debit card, I cringe a little.  I  thought it might be fun to blog our ideas as we go and watch our savings build.

We're taking a few tips from this article on Dumb Little Man.  We don't believe in completely depriving ourselves of fun, so we're implementing some of these easy adjustments to our daily spending.  Don't worry, I'm not going Extreme Couponing crazy on this (although, if someone could give me a crash course that doesn't look more exhausting than my 8 hour work day, I'm game).

First up:  Making my own coffee

You may remember the post when I was de-scaling my Keurig and discovering cheddar cheese popcorn?

After that project, the Keurig was never the same.  I couldn't get the vinegar taste out of the coffee, and I tried EVERYTHING Google suggested.  Over the course of the last month and a half, I've spent too much money on lattes, and decided it was time to start making my own again.

really, I'm sorry...

I remember a friend telling me that Bed Bath and Beyond replaced her Keurig when it malfunctioned...she'd had it for a while and no receipt, box, etc.  I figured it was worth a try since at this point it was only taking up space.  I took it up and explained what was going on, they looked up my model number and saw that it was within the warranty period, and replaced it with a new one!!

I never get this lucky.  I'm always coming up a little short in these situations.

So, our first money-saving effort has been put into place without having to spend money on a new coffee maker.  Now I just have to figure out to to successfully de-scale this thing when the time comes.

Next up:  More cooking at home.  This is something the husband is heading up.  We're sitting down for our first planning meeting this week.  You know you love the total commitment here.  I'll keep you posted...

is this thing on?

I've discussed the way me and the husband argue. 

We argue over things that are so infuriatingly stupid that I swear we get angrier than those who fight about things that actually matter because what we're fighting about is just so stupid.

I bought the husband a Big Green Egg for Christmas (cue Best Wife Ever cheer & applause).  He's so happy, he's glowing, and it truly makes my heart happy to make him so happy - giving is so much more fun than receiving - especially when you buy yourself little gifts while shopping for others. 

Little did I know that I was creating a bit of a monster....(actually, I take that back...anyone could see that he was becoming obsessed). 

I digress...

The husband is the cook at our house.  I always say he wasn't being properly fed by me, so he had to improvise.  He comes by it honestly - domesticity runs in his family.  Turns out, we're the perfect match because it doesn't run in mine.  So, I purchased him a cookbook called Southern Plate.  He picked it out when we were in Florida, and I stumbled across it at Sam's.  Since the arrival of the cookbook, we've been eating good.  He makes this fried chicken with "come back sauce."  The chicken is breaded in saltine crackers and fried like normal - they say the saltines make it less fatty (or maybe he just told me that).  Either way, he's created a monster in me by cooking that meal.  A Fried Chicken Monster.  I pretty much crave the chicken and the "come back sauce" weekly. 

I specifically bought a giant pack of chicken tenders for him to fry up.  Yesterday, while I was working from home, the craving hit like a ton of bricks.  It's cold outside - give me something fatty and yummy to eat for dinner.  My spare tire isn't quite big enough yet.  When he came home, we had this exchange...

me: 

I'm thawing this big pack of chicken tenders and thought maybe you could fry up that chicken and we can make some "come back sauce."

husband:

 [sleepily]  yaaaaaaaaaaa-unghhhh

The noise that came out of him while I suggested we have the fried chicken so closely resembled a "yes" that I thought we were clear on the fact that I. Want. Fried. Chicken. For. Dinner. Damnit.

So, I left him to rest.  I gave him strict instructions to call me if my work computer started making the incoming email noise often enough to require my return.  So, he calls me when I'm leaving Target.  All of my Christmas Spirit has been stolen by the shitty cart I'm pushing and the masses of slow ass people wandering through Target, clearly just beginning their Christmas shopping.  Phone conversation plays out as follows:

me:

 yup?

husband: 

you told me to call you if your computer started acting crazy.  Smoke was coming out of the sides, so I threw it in the bathtub to cool it off.

me: 

oh - very funny.  chuckle chuckle

(sneer - my chicken better be in the fryer)

husband: 

 so, what do you want for dinner?

me:

  oh, well, I was thinking we could make the fried chicken...unless you'd rather go grab something.

(the only thing that will make this okay is if he suggests Mexican)

husband: 

oh, well, I was thinking of cooking them on the egg.  I've already started marinating them.

me: 

oh?

husband: 

is that not okay?

me: 

um.....well, I mean......no, it's fine.

(okay, I'm secretly angry)

husband: 

okay, when will you be home? 

me: 

I don't know.  I'm out in this shit, and I still need to go to Kroger

I was seething from anger about the fact that he MARINATED the chicken tenders I purchased SPECIFICALLY for my favorite fried chicken.  If he didn't want to make the chicken, he should have made a noise that resembled more of a "no" than a "yes."  Not cool.

I drive to the grocery store - PISSED - so I send a BBM....

me: 

if you don't mind, don't cook all of the tenders.  I purchased it specifically for the fried chicken because it's delicious leftover

(in my mind - grilled chicken gets hard and gross the next day and THAT'S why I don't eat leftovers)

husband: 

 Well, I've already marinated all of it.  Apparently I've really effed up - you clearly wanted the fried chicken.

me: 

Well, yeah.  We agreed on it.

husband: 

when did we agree on it?  You said last week that you wished I wouldn't cook it so much because of the calories!

Here's where his "selective hearing" kicks in. 

First of all, when I said he needed to lay off cooking the fried chicken tenders, I was stuffing one in my mouth while simultaneously dipping the next one in "come back sauce."  Lay off cooking the chicken means "only cook the chicken when I request it."  Duh.  It also means "awww...sweetheart, you shouldn't have, but I'm so glad you did...nom nom nom nom nommmmm." 

Also, he AGREED that family time over preparing "come back sauce" sounded great...that's what "yaaaaaaaaaaa-unghhhh" means. 

So, we proceeded to send snippy BBMs back and forth until my Blackberry died - which pissed him off even more because, turns out, he thought I turned my phone off.

I came home to this grilled-ass chicken, and yeah, it was good.  I had it over a SALAD since I was so rudely reminded of my caloric intake. 

And we proceeded to not speak to each other for the majority of the evening.  I mean, things are good now.  It's Christmas Eve!  But seriously?  I think someone here learned a lesson yesterday...

WHEN THE CRANKY WOMAN SAYS SHE WANTS EFFING FRIED CHICKEN, YOU MAKE EFFING FRIED CHICKEN.  THE EGG WILL ALWAYS BE THERE, YOU MAY NOT AFTER THE WOMAN GOES BATSHIT CRAZY ON YOUR ASS. 

Merry Christmas.

women are normal...and men are definitely from mars...if not there, somewhere equally non-normal

i told myself long before i started kindredly that i wasn't going to write too much about my personal relationships...i think i was pretty good at sticking to it, but there are days like today when i just can't hold in.

this weekend was supposed to be relaxing.  i start my new job on monday (yay!) and other than last night's GNO (crazy - save for another post), my plans were to totally veg.  catch up on my sleep, clean the house, do a little shopping, etc.

the husband called me yesterday when i was in the car with my friend amanda.  one of his chemical reps from work offered him two tickets to the UGA/Auburn game for today.  he asked me if i'd like to go (such a dear), but knowing all the napping that still needed to be done, i declined.  he called several friends, but apparently, none of them are the fly-by-the-seat-of-their-pants type because they all declined.  after exhausting several efforts, the husband tells me that he's just going to go to the game by himself....

what?

i feel like i need to say that i get the loner types - i am one.  i don't shy away from a lunch alone with a magazine or book...or a solo movie date...i'm down, but the husband will go camping alone...and now he'll apparently drive to auburn to go to a football game alone.  um...weird.

of course, i'm feeling kind of rejected - like, why are you going to waste your entire day doing all of that ALONE when you can keep your original plans with me to relax, work a little in the yard and go out for a mexican dinner date after the game is over?  (I will even be your DD!)

when i politely suggested he let his rep pass the tickets to two people who WANT to go TOGETHER, he got bitchy, so then i got bitchy...and now, we're bitchy.  when i thought he'd score himself a friend to take, i rescheduled lunch plans with my mom for today instead of sunday, so i offered to move them back to sunday if he decided to stay in town (you know, thinking that maybe he'd like to take some of the pressure off and actually relax with his wife).


this is what he says to me::

husband :  nah, you keep your plans with your mom

me : well, she's more than willing to reschedule for tomorrow, it's no big deal

husband :  well, when i get back from picking up the tickets, i'm going to come sit on the couch, and if i get a wild hair and decide i'd rather be in auburn, then i'm going to go...

me :  well, just go, damnit!

husband : no!  not after this conversation, i'm not going...

me : but you just said that you might get a wild hair and go...sounds to me like maybe you should just go ahead and go...OR are you just trying to get rid of me because while you watch the game you're going to be pissed you're not there?

husband :  yeah, i'll probably be pretty pissed off....

me : great.

the argument continued in circles for about 80% of my car ride back to the burbs from GNO...nothing getting accomplished except a bunch of smart ass remarks exchanged.  but SERIOUSLY - it's a f*cking lose/lose situation here...anyone else noticed this?

i. am. in. bizarro. world.  for serious, people.  what is happening here?

so, guess what's happening right now - right this second?  i'm sitting here, in my bedroom, surrounded by laundry to be folded, pissed. off., and now planning to have lunch with my mom.  when i complain about these things to her, she tends to help calm me down while at the same time rawling me up...it's crazy.  hopefully after lunch and a little retail therapy, i will go back to loving my husband again.  right now, in all truthfulness, i kind of want to hit him. 

i really don't appreciate being confronted with a lose/lose situation by the man who's supposed to love me like nobody's business.  i mean, way to set me up and make me realllllly angry in the process.

MEN.  i swear.  can't live with them; can't live without them.

mondays are for the random pt II

image via

• i hurt my back this past saturday loading a ginormous bag of dog food into the trunk of my car.  lord help, i'm dying right now.  how old am i again?
• i totally almost got into another bad car accident this saturday.  i was in a hurry, stopped for a fresco taco, and then totally slung my taco into the dash of my car swerving to miss a wannabe bentley that was so suddenly in my lane.  do you know how hard it is to get pico de gallo out of AC vents?  it was seriously a total miracle that we did not hit.  the swervage was promptly followed by a complete mental breakdown. 
• me and the boss lady determined my last day of work - i get two days of decompression before i start the new job.  i'm ready for those two days - totally checked out.
• the husband and i went to our friends house for a GA/FL party Saturday afternoon.  it was a mixture of people, some we knew and some we didn't.  yesterday when i spoke to my girlfriend about her party's success, she said that one of her friends didn't "get a read" on whether or not i liked her.  then she went on to mention that i come across as kind of bitchy if you don't know me.  while this isn't exactly new news, it's something i haven't heard about since college - and this time, the overall impression was totally unwarranted seeing as there wasn't really any opportunity for me and the friend to talk.  i guess i'm just worried about it because a) i'm going into a new job, and coming across as a bitch is kind of terrible and can't happen and b) if i come across as a bitch before i even extend my hand to meet you, shit, i'm in the wrong business.
• in addition to above bullet, i was kind of in a weird mood on saturday.  i felt rushed and strung out...so i guess that could have something to do with it...and lately when i get drunk, i have no filter.
• i purchased myself some new workout shoes this weekend.  ya'll, i haven't purchased a new pair of tennis shoes since college.  terrible.  now, let's just hope this new pair of shoes will motivate me to get in the gym this week!
• speaking of gyms, my new company pays toward their employees' gym memberships.  turns out, there's a swanky gym in my new building, and my new company was supposedly the main reason the gym moved in (hopefully this means they offer an employee rate) - anywhooo - they offer a 6:15 spin class every morning.  you know how i've been freaking out about making it to work on time?  i think i've discovered my answer.  the new gym will supposedly take care of everything for you, so all i have to do is roll out of bed and remember to bring work clothes. 
• which brings me to my next idea - should i buy special spinning shoes??
• oh oh oh!  how many times can i say 'totally' in one post.  geeeeeeez..............

somebody call PETA

sorry - i have nothing to blog about.  life is moving at warp speed right now, and every time i sit to write, i'm interrupted and lose my train of thought.

you guys can proof the letter i'm finally sending to the vent column in my local newspaper...

dear henry county,

i want to thank the local law enforcement for the complete display this morning while attending to a three car fender bender on the only road leading to the interstate.  trust i'm battling my inside "warm & fuzzies" knowing you would bring out the big guns for my stupidity in the form of three police cars, the biggest fire truck ever, an ambulance and giant orange cone castle.  however, today was the day that i was smart and didn't get into a fender bender.   nonetheless, i had to wait in the line of geriatrics and rubber neckers to make it by the display of lights from what had to be 1/3 of your on-duty staff of officers!  my question today is this, do you think you could spare one of your policemen to give me a blue light escort through the god-forsaken traffic that comes here to die?  i swear on everything that is holy, this traffic is going to make me kick a kitten.

for the love of god, build a bypass.

best,

ltj


p.s. this exact letter isn't going - but it sure feels good to let it out...

careful, or you'll end up in my blog

the husband and i have our tiffs like any other couple. usually, i choose not to share them with the blogosphere because they are private, of course. however, sometimes i have to share (not only that - i refuse to take this one lying down).

remember early in your relationship when everything you say goes and the guy will do pretty much anything to make you happy? while all this is happening, the married people in your life say things like "don't get used to it" or "that won't last long" and you look at them like they're speaking in japanese or worse, you secretly get kind of mad at them?

well, for those of you in new, shiny relationships, they are right. i am now one of those jaded married ladies whose husband no longer thinks the sun shines out of my ass. it's little things like cutting the grass, or cleaning up after himself that i've learned to live with. frankly, he's always been messy, and i knew this. that particular bitch holds little weight. the grass cutting is a current bitch that i've just decided to give up on as he'll eventually get around to it (yes, i could do it too, but i severely injured our last lawn mower after i ran over a sizeable decorative rock. i'm a little gunshy). but today's argument threw me over the edge.

i love my husband. i love my husband. i love my husband. but sometimes - he's five.

so, today i learned that our friend's engagement party is semi-formal. i thought semi-formal dress for a guy would call for a sport coat, slacks and a button up. i pictured the husband in his wonderful linen pants from banana, white button up and his navy sport coat. so, i texted him, and the conversation went like this (the itlacized sections are the reactions in my head)::

me :: friend's party is semi-formal.

husband :: damn. what does that mean?

me :: i think you should wear your linen pants, navy sport coat, no tie.

husband :: i'm not wearing a coat. not in 99 degree heat, sorry friend.
of course you're not. time to be difficult.

me :: you may need to wear your suit

husband :: bullshit

me :: babe. just for a bit then you can ditch the jacket. i've got it! wear your pinstripe suit with your black button up from other friend's wedding, no tie. then ditch your jacket early in the evening!
easy peasy!

husband :: i won't go if i have to wear anything resembling a coat. it's supposed to be 99, and i already spend too much of my summer sweating.
last time i checked you got a degree, from an institution in your field. you went to school, paid thousands of dollars to know you'd be working in the heat. get over it.

me :: it's SEMI FORMAL. you can't not wear a jacket.

husband :: jackets are not meant to be worn in the summer. i can't do it.
what? i see men in suits all day every day in my building. suit jackets are meant for times when you're supposed to wear a suit, and this is one of those times!!!!!!!!!!!!

me :: well, can you at least carry it? this should not be an issue. this is etiquette.

husband :: shit. this is an issue if someone plans a semi formal party in the middle of summer. etiquette is me being comfortable. i'm sorry but there is no way i should have to wear a suit in this heat. the only way i'd wear a suit is for a funeral, and if i wear a suit, it might be my funeral.
btw, etiquette is not about keeping mr. husband comfortable. it's about how you should act in situations, and frankly, you're kind of being rude.

me :: wear what you want. i'll be semi formal

husband :: does this make you mad?
i'm annoyed because you're acting like a child. plain and simple.

me :: i think it's ridiculous, but i'm not picking this battle. so, i'm not mad

husband :: why is it ridiculous? do you not understand how hot it is? would you wear a coat?

me :: i wear a blazer everyday.
that is what i was thinking...

husband :: in the heat?

me :: the party is inside. wear your black suit pants with your black nicole miller button up.

husband :: black attracts heat!!!
fine. go naked. we'll walk in separately.

***end of text string***

seriously? black attracts heat? i remember five years ago, i dressed that boy. everything he wore, i pretty much bought. then something clicked with him, and he started insisting on wearing sweaters from the year 2000 (like that disgusting burnt orange with stripes. think american eagle outfitters circa your highschool boyfriend).

i. can't. take. it.

another example of how this summer has robbed me of the man i love. the refusal to wear a suit jacket from the parking lot to the building is an argument a mother might have with her teenager. i'm completely annoyed.

this is an example of how you'll end up in my blog - if i feel like i will never have a child of my own because i already have one at home...in the form of a six-foot-one man.

**update :: now i feel kind of bad because i just got a text from him that he overheated today. he's going home and going to bed. the argument was still redic - my opinion isn't going to change on that.