dear charter, i hate your face.

i'm not one who gets all in a tizzy about things like cable.

i'm the high maintenance viewer who has to have dvr - because i refuse to be on anyone else's time.

also, i'm the high maintenance viewer who has to have hbo for fabulous shows like trueblood and big love. because sometimes they are the only shows worth watching.

but here's the deal. i hate charter communications because they nickle and dime you to death. i'm pretty sure i'm paying a router lease fee for MY ROUTER. the one i purchased at best buy.

back before we purchased our house, i was deep into my love affair with comcast. i know some people hate comcast, but let me tell you, our dvr box worked, our internet was always up, and the cable guy was this big burly man who liked to talk about shopping (at first i thought it was likely the husband would come home to find me dead, but we ended up gabbing for a really long time as he was setting up my wireless. further proof you should never judge a book by it's cover).

when we moved to the country two years ago, i was extremely upset to discover that charter had a monopoly on our area. it was charter or direct tv, and direct tv is confusing. so, i begrudgingly signed up for stupid charter, and i've hated them since. i try to give them the benefit of the doubt, but my cable/internet bill is effing $173/month, and they routinely call me to promote their "savings plan" of adding a phone line for $180/month. there's a serious lack of attention to detail with their sales people. i know it's only $7, but i'm sure there is some monthly charge for having my own phone attached to the wall. our cable doesn't go out, but our dvr box never works. the whole deal will lock up in the middle of riveting television and we're shit out of luck. when we call charter to handle the situation, they respond by saying "just bring your box to our office, and we'll give you another one." no thanks, charter. i'm not driving to bumblef*ck for you to give me another refurbished, busted up box. our internet goes down - everyday. so instead of listening to the husband bitch and moan, i called charter.

convo went like this::

me :: hi, my intenet is down, and really, it's down every single day.

CC :: oh, i'm so sorry, let me look at your account.

me :: .....

CC :: i'm not showing any outages in your area, so let me try to repair the problem.

me :: i've already reset the router.

CC :: good, now turn off your computer.

me :: ok.

CC :: now, i'm going to send a technician out to diagnose the problem. of course, if it's on your end, we'll have to charge you - unless you sign up for the charter plan called another bullshit way to take your money.

me :: um....no.

CC :: ok, ma'am. have you restarted your computer?

me :: yes. well, lookie here - it works.

CC :: did you still want me to send technician to your home to diagnose the problem? again, if it's on your end, we will have to charge you, unless you sign up for the bullshit way to take your money plan, in which case, it would be covered.

me :: how much is the bullshit way to take my money plan?

CC :: it's an extra $5/month.

me :: no.

ok...five dollars a month isn't a big deal, but it's the principle. now that i know they are charging me a lease fee for my own router, all of the problems should be on their end. i'm not letting some douchebag cable dude come out to my house to tell me some jibberish about wires and lines that my house has somehow eaten; therefore, making my internet woes my problem and making me responsible for a $100 fee for looking at a cord.

@chartergeorge on twitter keeps hitting me up to call and have them fix my problem. um....no thank you. now that i know that rebooting my computer will do the trick, i'll just stick with that until comcast rides in on it's white horse and saves me.

on notice...