yup, I'm still here

snowpocalypse!!!

Well, if I have to choose.

More on how the world is totally ending in another post

I know what you're thinking - super creative post title, right?

There is no better made up word for what we're dealing with here.  DAYS of being ICED in.  I made excuses for our condition - Southern states don't have budgets for snow covered roads; therefore, it will take a bit longer than usual to clear everything up..................... three days later, I'm slowly retracting my comments.  Today the husband and I ventured out for lunch.  I'd had enough.  After three days of being captured in my house, all I want to do is redecorate.  A trip to Ikea is HAPPENING on Sunday (I suggested we do that for our "date day" this week - more on that later). 

Tonight, while I say my prayers, I'm going to throw in a plead for work to happen tomorrow.  I MUST get dressed and report somewhere for my sanity.  I thought it'd be really funny to take a picture of day 1, day 2 and day 3 - we could all have a chuckle about how all the stupid white stuff is still there.  I can finally see some grass in our back yard.

The problem with all of this is today everything started melting, but all the melted snow/ice will freeze again tonight.  Tomorrow when I need to leave the house at 7, I'll be super scared because I don't know how to drive on ice.  I don't even know how to walk on it, so this could get interesting.  Wish me luck.

why today sucked

there are just some days that need to be erased from the books. today has been that day...for both me and the husband.

mine all started with my new obsession with vanilla iced coffee for keurig. i love me some iced coffee and have tried unsuccessfully to make it with normal coffee, so you can only imagine my excitement when i discovered it at bed bath and beyond.

i had a cup this morning while i was getting ready, and it was so delicious i decided to make myself a roadie.

note to self :: always hit the restroom before you leave if you're drinking excessive amounts of coffee.

now that you can see where this is going, i found myself on the downtown connector, far from any exits, in slow moving traffic, having to pee. like, bad. i turned on pandora to try to distract myself with no luck. it was painful. i unfastened my seat belt to try to alleviate the pressure. turns out, the pressure i was feeling was me about to totally ruin my seats and outfit. the desperation came to a head when i thought i was about to start crying, so i abandoned my spot in the traffic and took i-20 away from town, to the nearest exit. if you're familiar with downtown atlanta, the city itself is somewhat surrounded by questionable areas - especially off i-20. i was headed east, and took memorial drive thinking "there will be a gas station right off here." um.....no. i was in transitional loft hell with nothing in site. i sped into an exxon not realizing that i'd taken the back way to the corner of moreland & memorial also known as the corner of stabbed to death & shot to death.

i jumped out of my car with my purse, phone and keys acting as stabbing mechanism in case i was jumped, in which case, they'd want nothing to do with me because i'd promptly pee myself. i ran into the gas station, flailed around for a doorway leading to restrooms only to discover a sign that said "no public restrooms" um....my ass. so, after the clerk noticed i was dying, he motioned me back to the room of death.

i was in the back room of a dirty gas station on the corner of memorial & moreland. my guess is the bathroom was last cleaned when the gas station opened...maybe 1985? after i realized the toilet paper was sopping wet, and i was likely to pick up a disease, i discovered that not only is all of that happening, but i'm in the dark back room of a gas station by myself. in a room labeled "no public restroom"...and i'm the public. not only that, every single person in the gas station was a scruffy man, and one of them is going to be waiting outside to rape and pillage me. no one would even know.

thought going through my head :: "wow. a little old to be getting ourselves into these kinds of situations, aren't we?"

it's called when you have to pee bad enough, all responsibility flies out the window.

the happy ending is that i made it out, and the homeless men sitting on the sidewalk were actually quite pleasant even as i sprinted out of the gas station with 911 already programmed and ready to dial.

the husband's day went by as successfully. the poor guy has multiple kidney stones, and after watching a combined 14 hours of golf over the course of the weekend, he bravely stepped out to get some work done. i bbmed to check on him around noon, and the conversation went like this::

me:: how are you feeling?

husband:: pretty bad, just got caught in a yellow jacket's nest, and i've been stung.

me:: omg. are you ok?

husband:: i'll call you back.

the husband was stung twelve times. twelve. times. (!!!). one time i got a yellow jacket caught between my arm and my boob. luckily it stung my arm, but it stung like holy hell...for a long time. after twelve pops, the husband was done. he stopped for some benadryl and came home to sleep it off. now he just looks like he's been beat up.

oh, and puppy number one, the one who had acl surgery in may, is limping again. it just happened right before our eyes. i'm a bit devastated as we've been nursing and babying her leg for almost three months.

i need a do-over.

seriously.

it's baaaaack

the husband is back in his pitiful state. the kidney stone has reared it's ugly head, so i guess the day he spent kneeled in front of the porcelain god was actually a result of the drugs and not the passing of the stone.

balls. i feel sad. i have no one to participate in weekend shenanigans with at this point. unless the stone navigates to a comfortable position. until then, i guess i'll do my part and play nurse (although, not the sexy kind) until he feels better.

after he spent most of yesterday in the fetal position, i made him an appointment with a urologist. they squeezed him in today, and figured out everything in 25 minutes that we spent two days jimmy jacking around with the primary care doc. there is still no resolution as the urologist recommends a cat scan next tuesday.

they did another ultrasound and told him they saw stones. plural. and a possible blockage. nothing about this sounds fun, so i'm just trying to be superwife and there at his beck and call. so far, so good. it's not too hard when he's passed out 85% of the time.

ugh - wish us luck. 1) we need him to not get sick from the pain meds 2) we need him to not have to use another suppository. i'll just keep that story to myself, but poor guy's traumatized.

stoner

everything's been kind of crazy since tuesday when the husband called me doubled over in pain requesting that i come home.

so far, i've taken two afternoons off work, one morning, and been sleeping with one eye open just waiting for him to shoot out of bed and need to go to the emergency room. just so you know, we still have the kidney stone. thankfully, he's experiencing a period of relief and no pain, so that's good.

on tuesday the doctor said the only thing she could do to help was provide him with a prescription for lortab (yay! drugs!). being a drug free husband, he only took the pill when he was at level 7 out of 10 in pain, and promptly put himself in bed. he woke up at 2:45 wednesday morning in severe pain again and popped another lortab. i left for work wednesday morning only to go home at 2 because he was violently sick from what he thought was the lortab. he popped another pill at 9 a.m. and promptly threw up at 11:30 and continued to throw up for the rest of the day.

my husband sounds like he is in the throes of death when he vomits.

he vomited so violently, that i ended up calling his mother.

conversation with mother in law ::

me :: so, husband has graduated to vomiting. it's really quite violent. yeah, i'm kind of freaked out.

mil :: oh yeah, when he had his last kidney stone, he burst the blood vessels in his face. he looked like he had a rash.

me :: oh. wow.

mil :: yeah, you should probably take him to the emergency room.

me :: hmmm...ok. should i take him to the emergency room while he's nauseated? i mean, i don't want him to have to be nauseous waiting in the e.r.

mil :: what about his doctor?

me :: yes, of course, the doctor.

so, i called the doctor and the doctor told me that yeah, he could be sick from the lortab, or he could be passing the stone.

so i run into the bathroom, slamming the door into his head as he lays totally helpless. "are you in any pain?!?"

...this kidney stone stuff is a bit confusing. he wasn't in any pain; he was only nauseous, and wouldn't he be in major pain if he were passing it?? the doctor told me that either way, he needed to be supervised while he passes the stone. really? i thought people passed kidney stones everyday without supervision from doctors?

i ended up talking her away from that ledge and told her he wasn't in any pain, and he really did not want to go pass his stone in the e.r....at god knows what time. so, she prescribed some anti-nausea suppositories.

fast forward to the pharmacy where the pharmacist at our walgreens is my new bff. he gave me the recommendations for the over the counter anti-nausea meds i purchased on my first trip that the husband immediately threw up. when i picked up the prescribed meds, he said "you know these are suppositories, right?"

me :: [cracking a smile as i kind of know what a suppository is] what again is a suppository?

pharmacist :: it goes up the bottom [also cracking a smile because he's having to explain this to a 28 year old woman and making a putting a plug up something motion with his hand]

me :: ouch!

pharmacist :: they've probably prescribed this because he can't hold a tablet down.

me :: he will go nowhere near this, but thanks!

i laughed (hard) the whole way to the car. i'm five.

i figured since i've been a supportive wife thusfar, i should probably call and warn him about the buttplugs i've just purchased.

me :: hey sweetie. how ya feeling? listen, i just picked up your meds, and you should know they are suppositories.

husband :: [silence]...what are those?

me :: um...well...they um...you insert it into your ass.

husband :: [silence]

me :: i'm sorry! what should i do?

husband :: [panicked] why didn't they give me a pill? isn't there a pill version?

me :: i suppose there might be, but the pharmacist said you probably couldn't keep a tablet down (the pharmacist is the be all, end all here. i was literally a mile from our house at this point)

husband :: [mumbled something i couldn't understand; hangs up]

me :: hello? .....

the husband went nowhere near the suppositories. they are in our fridge, and when i open it, i laugh (because i'm five).

so, the husband pulled it together for the most part, and fell asleep long enough to sleep off the nausea. it worked, and he woke up later last night feeling a little better. i fed him a ginormous breakfast this morning, and he succeeded in keeping it down, and we're on the road to normal...or just waiting out the ticking time bomb that's floating around in his bladder.

now that i've shared too much info, how was your week?

for better for worse, for sicker for poorer