careful, or you'll end up in my blog

the husband and i have our tiffs like any other couple. usually, i choose not to share them with the blogosphere because they are private, of course. however, sometimes i have to share (not only that - i refuse to take this one lying down).

remember early in your relationship when everything you say goes and the guy will do pretty much anything to make you happy? while all this is happening, the married people in your life say things like "don't get used to it" or "that won't last long" and you look at them like they're speaking in japanese or worse, you secretly get kind of mad at them?

well, for those of you in new, shiny relationships, they are right. i am now one of those jaded married ladies whose husband no longer thinks the sun shines out of my ass. it's little things like cutting the grass, or cleaning up after himself that i've learned to live with. frankly, he's always been messy, and i knew this. that particular bitch holds little weight. the grass cutting is a current bitch that i've just decided to give up on as he'll eventually get around to it (yes, i could do it too, but i severely injured our last lawn mower after i ran over a sizeable decorative rock. i'm a little gunshy). but today's argument threw me over the edge.

i love my husband. i love my husband. i love my husband. but sometimes - he's five.

so, today i learned that our friend's engagement party is semi-formal. i thought semi-formal dress for a guy would call for a sport coat, slacks and a button up. i pictured the husband in his wonderful linen pants from banana, white button up and his navy sport coat. so, i texted him, and the conversation went like this (the itlacized sections are the reactions in my head)::

me :: friend's party is semi-formal.

husband :: damn. what does that mean?

me :: i think you should wear your linen pants, navy sport coat, no tie.

husband :: i'm not wearing a coat. not in 99 degree heat, sorry friend.
of course you're not. time to be difficult.

me :: you may need to wear your suit

husband :: bullshit

me :: babe. just for a bit then you can ditch the jacket. i've got it! wear your pinstripe suit with your black button up from other friend's wedding, no tie. then ditch your jacket early in the evening!
easy peasy!

husband :: i won't go if i have to wear anything resembling a coat. it's supposed to be 99, and i already spend too much of my summer sweating.
last time i checked you got a degree, from an institution in your field. you went to school, paid thousands of dollars to know you'd be working in the heat. get over it.

me :: it's SEMI FORMAL. you can't not wear a jacket.

husband :: jackets are not meant to be worn in the summer. i can't do it.
what? i see men in suits all day every day in my building. suit jackets are meant for times when you're supposed to wear a suit, and this is one of those times!!!!!!!!!!!!

me :: well, can you at least carry it? this should not be an issue. this is etiquette.

husband :: shit. this is an issue if someone plans a semi formal party in the middle of summer. etiquette is me being comfortable. i'm sorry but there is no way i should have to wear a suit in this heat. the only way i'd wear a suit is for a funeral, and if i wear a suit, it might be my funeral.
btw, etiquette is not about keeping mr. husband comfortable. it's about how you should act in situations, and frankly, you're kind of being rude.

me :: wear what you want. i'll be semi formal

husband :: does this make you mad?
i'm annoyed because you're acting like a child. plain and simple.

me :: i think it's ridiculous, but i'm not picking this battle. so, i'm not mad

husband :: why is it ridiculous? do you not understand how hot it is? would you wear a coat?

me :: i wear a blazer everyday.
that is what i was thinking...

husband :: in the heat?

me :: the party is inside. wear your black suit pants with your black nicole miller button up.

husband :: black attracts heat!!!
fine. go naked. we'll walk in separately.

***end of text string***

seriously? black attracts heat? i remember five years ago, i dressed that boy. everything he wore, i pretty much bought. then something clicked with him, and he started insisting on wearing sweaters from the year 2000 (like that disgusting burnt orange with stripes. think american eagle outfitters circa your highschool boyfriend).

i. can't. take. it.

another example of how this summer has robbed me of the man i love. the refusal to wear a suit jacket from the parking lot to the building is an argument a mother might have with her teenager. i'm completely annoyed.

this is an example of how you'll end up in my blog - if i feel like i will never have a child of my own because i already have one at home...in the form of a six-foot-one man.

**update :: now i feel kind of bad because i just got a text from him that he overheated today. he's going home and going to bed. the argument was still redic - my opinion isn't going to change on that.

bout it bout it

• i tweeted on my non-anon twitter page the other day that that day was going to be my bitch. and it was. i made two placements, and hopefully made two candidates days! i think i should wake up every day, stretch, and after two cups of coffee say "i'm gonna make today my bitch." if you say it, it will happen.

• the change i mentioned a couple of weeks ago is still potentially happening. exciting and scary all at once. i've debated blogging it out here because this is somewhat anon, but some people do know me, and i'm not sure who reads. i would certainly hope none of my readers were malicious biotches, but you just never know.
  

• i purchased a Braves package for the husband's birthday. problem solved.

• because of said placements made this week, the boss gave the office tomorrow off. pumped.

• i have been on a huge jalapeno kick for about a month. i put them on everything. i'm craving my turkey wrap with about a million jalapenos thrown in.
  

• also continuing to crave donuts. i ended up getting some donut holes yesterday (i know, i know - explanation of chunk) to help ease the craving, but i still continue to want them. i think it's going to take a dozen krispy kremes to calm this down.

• i was catching up on perez yesterday and couldn't help but notice a certain celeb - nicole kidman. why does she dress like she's 85? ugh...i just can't like her. also, if alex skarsgaard could break up with skelator, kate bosworth, i'd appreciate it. he's too hot for her.
  

• i asked the husband what he wanted to do for his birthday, and he said he wanted to go to breakfast and just be lazy for the rest of the afternoon until we go to our friends engagement party. boo. i want to do something fun. i'm kind of over summer and the fact that it's robbed my husband of all his energy.

• i'm trying to change the post title font on my blog, but it's being stubborn and not changing over despite my checking and rechecking the html. grr...

• the husband decided to upload his whole cd collection onto his new ipod. in doing so, all of his ginormous, old school leather cd books are scattered around our bedroom. while i was at home last weekend babysitting our refigerator, i went through to see if my ipod could use some updates, and i found my old master p cd. "how you do dat" "bout it bout it" "make em say ugh" um...serious hits here, people. the husband has never been as into hardcore rap as i am. i have to give credit to my old boyfriend who had speakers in his honda that rattled my eardrums. he educated me on all hardcore rap artists and their best songs, which i still enjoy today. one positive i took away from that relationship (don't hate).

• finally starting to enjoy outlander. i'm in chapter six, and i kind of hate to put it down. i read before bed, and i read while i'm drying my hair. i'd like to take a day off so i could read the rest of it. i'm only in chapter six, but jamie is in the picture. i'm ready for the good stuff to start.
  

I now crown thee queen...chunk

that's right. chunk. remember when i said i was going to go on a diet called "stop eating so much"? well, i did, but it's apparently not working.

actually, i take that back because eating a small salad...drenched in green goddess dressing, no less...for lunch and mexican for dinner gets you nowhere but chunkier.

with our fridge being out (yes it's still out. the repairman came, but didn't have the part, which was confusing to me too. especially considering the issue was discovered on saturday and the repairman with the truck full of parts came yesterday because he's supposed to have the f*cking parts. but whatever. he didn't have it, so he rigged the fridge to work, but all of our food is at my grandmother's house keeping in her freezer.) the husband and i are eating out every night. sunday night we went to chilis and i ordered the margarita grilled chicken (i think that's the 500 calorie dish with the black beans, right?), but my stomach was eating a hole in my back because i hadn't eaten since my waffle that morning, so we also ordered chips and salsa and ate it like it was our last meal. last night we planned on having dinner out, but i was really thinking we could go somewhere where i could grab a salad, but everyone knows that salads at restaurants are like 1000 calories, so i caved when the husband said "let's just go grab mexican" because the mexican restaurant is the closest yummy establishment to our house. so we did, and instead of getting a taco or two, i got the f*cking chicken nachos drenched in queso (which there really wasn't enough queso if we're going to be picky - hello, chunk! - but i corked it because seriously? what is wrong with me?).

i begrudgingly took my ass (that is now eating the seat of the bike) to spin this morning. it was a real treat to watch my upper thigh jiggle as i sprinted for my life. stop the madness.

so, since the stupid refrigerator isn't fixed, i guess we'll be eating out again - and we have mexican dinner with friends on wednesday (this mexican restaurant is a small journey from our house, but their queso dip with crushed jalapenos is heaven on earth. i'll die chunky and happy before i ever pass on this particular queso. even the husband, who's violently lactose intolerant, can't say no.) i'm going to suggest to the husband that we just eat sandwiches. because seriously? and if he has a problem with that, he can go grab his own fried dinner because this is getting ridiculous. i clearly have zero self control when it comes to dinner outside of the house (sometimes even inside of the house - i told you my grandmother sent me home with a cake! balls!)

so until i pull it together, i'm going to proudly wear my crown. i love crowns. i hope this one's adorned with a golden donut. speaking of donuts.....

mondays are for the random

• my refrigerator's broken. another joy of homeownership is obviously having to pay who knows how much to fix it, and also deal with the soggy wrath it's released on our floors.
  

• last week we ran into some problems with the husband's schedule and our beach trip. we had to cancel. promptly pitched massive fit and rescheduled for october. hopefully, it will still be tropical enough then.

• trueblood. (if you haven't watched last night's ep, don't read? I guess?) do i need to say anything else? of course alcide is the pretty white wolf. i thought i was going to fall off the couch when he came running, naked, after tara. um...hellllo.

• i haven't watched mad men yet. the husband switched around my dvr and scheduled it to record the midnight showing. i swear, if he recorded the wrong one, i will cut him.
  

• saturday is the husband's birthday. he'll be 29. i haven't gotten him anything yet because he told me not to (long story, but he kind of bought one for himself). it's his last birthday in his 20's and i want it to be memorable. what the hell should i do? he doesn't excite easily...unless i take him to the laser show or something...

• i hit sephora on my way home last week, and the associate hooked me up with some mattifier for my face along with some smashbox primer that fights oil build up. i was looking like a hot, greasy mess at the end of every day (i'm a face in my hands kind of person). she also suggested i try sephora's line of foundation/powder. i have to say, i'm kind of liking all of it. my makeup looks smooth and clean and i don't have to cake on foundation! It's also cheaper than the mac studio fix, which is what i've used for years. maybe my skin needed a change.

christmas in july

the husband came across a shitload of points from one of his reward programs. literally - there were a lot. and they were about to expire. because it was his deal, he took over the reigns despite my urge to use all the points for a macbook or kate spade bag.

the husband logged on to the catalog of prizes only to discover that we were about to get hooked up in a big way. that night, we curled up on the couch and picked our loot, and it's started arriving this week!

point program santa is bringing the following ::

ipod nano for the husband.
we have the worst luck with ipods. they just break.
he's pumped about the video capabilities and the radio option as he likes to listen to the braves.



docking station for ipod.
we need this. i wanted something portable, and the husband wanted something versatile. this has everything we want. it plays the radio, cds and ipods, and it can go places, like the beach.



a tv.
yup. a freakin' tv. so, now we can add a flat screen to our bedroom! we picked a sharp 26 inch.
a new watch for the husband.
he needed one, and we were narrowing down points...


a digital camera.
the husband always takes mine (and i blame the fact that it's so crusty on him). he finally has his own!


and for me, a waffle iron.
why, you ask? it's actually kind of a joke between me and the husband. he placed in a golf tournament one year, and totally won a waffle iron. another winner mentioned that his kids sure did love waffles, and he would have loved to have won that. well, of course, the husband, being a nice guy and all, said "well, what did you win?" and the guy said "this longhorn gift card."
and then the husband proceeded to trade MY waffle iron for a longhorn giftcard.

i don't even really like longhorn.

he told me while we were on our way to redeem the gift card, which made me really kind of crave waffles and not steak.

so, after that, i gave him hell about how i really wish i had a waffle iron, and yes, i know waffle irons are not expensive. they are just not things you really think about picking up while you're at target, you know?
so, of course, the husband agreed to use his precious points toward getting me a waffle maker. this one is awesome because it flips, which i think is crucial, without being one of those huge ones that takes up so much space. i'm pretty much really excited about it. it's on it's way to me, and, of course, we're out of town this weekend. boo hiss....

the husband picked up a few small things like a rolling cooler (as if we don't have enough), a rain jacket (again, the outerwear is taking over) and a memory card for his new camera with the leftover points. i feel like i'm forgetting something, but i think that's it.

it was insane.

oh oh oh...and a firepit!!

and seriously, that's it. we're going to have to do a lot of yard work before this thing arrives. just throwing that out to the universe...

....and that's it. this is actually bigger than christmas. i kind of feel guilty.

who gonna check me, boo?

i can't hide it. i'm totally heinous this week (except for tuesday - i was a big ball of sunshine on tuesday). overall, i've been in a really shitty mood, extremely sleepy, and just cranky all around.

this affects me in the following ways::

• the husband gets pissed off at me because being heinous about everything kind of includes being heinous to him.
  

• i don't do my job well. i pretty much stay really distracted and annoyed and unproductive. i don't have one of those jobs where you can jimmy jack all day long - i kind of have to be productive to make money. i also have to use my totally dead brain. giant fail.

• i get really aggressive and bitchy to strangers making me come across as a total psycho. so not only does my husband want to leave my ass, but perfect strangers hate me too.

• my friends probably avoid me like the plague because all i do is complain. except when i talk to andrea, then i just laugh because she's hilarious.

and i'm not pmsing, so really, there's no explanation for this other than my favorite : "i'm just sleep deprived." the only things that make me happy are food, alcohol and sleep...or new shiny things.

i wonder what i'll have to do today to make myself feel better? yesterday i booked a trip to the beach. if my mom read this blog, she'd say "a, don't plan to be a total bitch; take control of your mood and tell yourself to have a good day." w.h.a.t.e.v.e.r.

today, i think i'll treat myself to a mani/pedi and quick trip to sephora. then i'll go home and get rip roarin' drunk off a bottle of wine, read the secret, and watch mad men til i pass out. the makings of a great mood.

until then, i will cut you.

blah blah blah

• abs + legs = jello right now. if i keep up spin every tuesday and thursday morning, i will be good to go. maybe saturdays too. i'm exhausted.
  

• i just booked a beachfront condo for me, the husband and our pups. we'll be in rosemary beach, florida on september 24 through the 27th. thank god!!! short trip, but totally needed. we're also planning a weekend away in asheville in november. this is the year of weekend getaways for me and the husband.
  

• haven't made a single marketing call, and not sure i have any plans to do so before today ends. i'm totally unmotivated and i'm blaming the lack of sleep.

• i'm still bloated. what the f*ck? no, i'm not pregnant.

• my husband is a sleepwalker, and he's been at it hardcore this week. bad. did i mention i'm tired?

• we had dinner with my sweet grandparents last night. my grandmother is adorable and totally outdid herself by making a devils food cake with homemade buttercream icing. the icing tastes like vanilla icecream. then she sent it home with us.
  

• netflix messed up somehow and sent me an email saying they received the mad men disc i was waiting for. this means that i will not be able to watch the premiere this weekend because i'll be spending my weekend at the inlaws. it might have also been the mail person's fault. thank god for dvr.

• i just spent way too much time looking at a friend's pictures of chicago, and now i'd like to visit there. neverending. that will have to wait. my job will hate me.

• meaning to write that post about makeup.
  

• i feel like a hot mess today all around. i'm retiring the pants i have on. they are circa 2005 from the limited (i can't believe my pants are five years old), and they look like they are fresh out of the 70's. super low and bell bottomed. hot. mess. and i might have spilled viniagrette dressing all over my white blazer (balls!). time to go home, people.

• friday please!!!
  

pretty girl swag

all i can say is thank goodness for long waits at the dentist office. i was randomly perusing a self magazine from a few months ago and came across the following gems that i had to share. please know that i will be testing each and every one of these products out.



first up, fuze healthy infuzions. i actually picked this up at the grocery store the other day, and me likey a lot. i opted for slenderize because i read it contains chromium and l-carnitine both promoting a faster and better metabolism (self magazine did have to tell me those things do that, and fuze's website explains it too!). i need that! i've gotten so used to my plain old water that i couldn't finish the whole bottle, which only has 20 calories, by the way. it's suprisingly tasty and sweet and delicious. a-plus in my book! i think this yumminess has graduated to a permanent spot in my fridge. it's also usually always on sale at kroger, so check it out!

l'oreal paris go 360 clean. when i saw this commercial i was excited, then this magazine tested it out and confirms it works and works well. i'm a dedicated user of noxema (make fun - i love the clean smell), so i needed a tester to confirm the little scrubber thing makes all the difference. i just purchased a new bucket of noxema, so it will be a while before i try this. if any of you have used this magic, leave a comment and tell me about it!


tarte multiplEYE primer. ya'll - i can't live without my primer. i usually get the mascara with the primer on the other end, but i've decided i want to just buy a big tube...the mascara always runs out before the primer and i'm forced to be wasteful (another confirmation for you - I am cheap). so...apparently tarte has a whole system, including a serum, for making lashes longer. the primer pretty much does the trick for me, so i won't be spending the $60-something on the serum. i will splurge for this $22 tube of primer and let you know how it goes.

the most exciting thing on my list is this pair of farmacell milk shorts. my problem areas includes my thighs, butt and stomach pooch - these shorts were made for me. i will sacrifice the sexy to experience the proven results from these shorts. blurb from bliss::

You can ‘milk’ these shorts for all they’re worth—and considering they moisturize, smooth, stimulate circulation and detoxify, that’s quite a bit.

Made with a revolutionary natural yarn derived from milk proteins, they’re designed to help diminish the appearance of those dastardly cellulite dents while you sleep. (Hey, who wouldn’t want to wake up looking a bit more ‘skim’?) With a high waist that lets your belly get in on the bod-bettering action.

where have these things been all my life?? they are $69, and i think that's a small price to pay to finally win the battle against thigh and ass dimples.

all of this fab info was found in this issue of self magazine ::



pretty girl in 5....4....3....2......1

currently...

• in an awesome mood. i'll give all the credit to my spin class this morning. i went hard at it (that's what she said) for 45 minutes - i might have left 15 minutes early, but only because a starbucks run was imminent.

• annoyed at my blackberry. why did an update appear on my phone and totally eff everything up? i scheduled the update for the middle of the night, and this morning, none of my junk was there. twitter? facebook? gone. i had to completely reset it. blackberry geniuses, any clue about this?

• excited about possible change. i'm currently throwing around ideas about changing things up in my life, and it's super exciting. i hate to be vague, but i guess i kind of have to be at this point in the game. maybe i'll be filling you in soon!

• loving 3eb. the husband loaded an old school third eye blind cd in my player, and it's totally my jam. i haven't told him yet, but i don't think he's getting it back. current favorite:: "the background." sad but awesome.

• knee socks had on a sports bra today. we can all breathe a sigh of relief.

• on this new cooking kick. and i need some recipes - that are easy. i might have caught something on fire the other night and totally freaked out. i've never claimed to be good in the kitchen, just throwing that out there. any cooking blogs you could direct me to?? Of course, in addition to Mrs. Potts, who i now have a bloggy crush on.

summer lovin'

we didn't make beach plans this year. we always go to the gulf, but with the oil disaster taking so much time to wrap up, we didn't plan a trip for fear we may have to cancel at the last minute.

now that we've made this decision, i've done nothing but crave a trip to the beach, and now i'm thinking i should suggest we go for a short trip after all.

i might also be inspired by some of my favorite (so far) summery pieces...

diane von furstenberg taleen dress
did anyone see kelly ripa in this last week? a-d-o-r-a-b-l-e!!!
swoon

flowy red top love 21 - forever 21

beaded swag bib necklace
fantastic yellow!
anthro

free people summer breeze tunic

foley + corrina mid city tote
...in this awesomely awesome leopard

oversized shades
marc by marc jacobs

summery striped scarf
madewell
loooove....

dolce vita wedge

may your time be filled with relaxing sunsets, cool drinks and sand between your toes...and the right outfit, of course.

can't hardly wait!!!

i just wanted to say thank you to all of my new followers and my great bloggy friends who've featured me on their blogs!

i've got some good stuff up my sleeve for future posts, so keep coming back and tell your friends!

my must reads

i get my must reads from friends who recommend, other bloggers who recommend, and sometimes based on the book cover, but not always. all too often terrible writers get great book cover artists and waste my time, but make my shelf look pretty. at least there's some kind of win.

(i'm also guilty of buying wine based on the label. i do that - a lot.)

behold! my book list until i finish all of them and come up with another one ::

first up - outlander by diana gabaldon. i think this is the first in a series, and we all know how much i love those! this has come highly recommended by two awesome friends of mine, so i'm pumped!


i'm kind of a sucker for memoirs. i am totally in love with augusten burroughs, alice sebold and jen lancaster (i'm sure there are others, but my brain is slow because it's friday), so i was excited to read on a friend's blog about driving with dead people. the title alone sucks me in, and i'm on the edge of my seat ready to read this junk.


there's been a lot of buzz about this book, and i'll admit i stopped for a second when i noticed the bright green book cover in target. it makes my list because of the buzz alone; although, i read a friend's tweet the other day that said it took her quite a few pages to get into it (i had the same experience with water for elephants, but would have been so upset had i given up on it). so, i'll give it my time.


i love jennifer weiner. i'm just like any girl - i love me some chick lit, but i tend to shy away from it because i'm kind of into learning junk when i read. i think it helps to expand my vocab and helps me be a better writer (i. am. five.). good in bed might be in my top five fave books of all time. certain girls? i cried. (also not a crier- i'm sure we'll get to that later). so, a new book popping up by jennifer weiner will have to go on my list (along with several others i've yet to read).


i was in target and saw this book on the shelf. this is one i picked up for its artwork and title, but the husband was over my shoulder making me pick a book to buy, so i didn't have time to read up on it enough to make an educated decision. i ended up reading a blurb on amazon, and apparently, this book is good. it's about someone tightrope walking between buildings in new york, and as the person is walking, he's taking notice of the people beneath him, and the book is made up of not only his story, but the stories of those people living life on the ground. i'm pretty sure i read that the author has since passed but is brilliant. good to know! i'll pick this one up somewhere down the line and let you know (if you've read this, please leave a review!).


after reading loving frank i'm kind of on a history kick. give me a book about times past. it's fun to be learning while doing something you love - i.e. i didn't so much enjoy school because class is so forced, don't you think? these two books are both a bit historic. i'm not so sure about last call. i need a story, and i didn't quite get from the blurb on amazon that this provided a storyline and plot. i don't want to just read information about the time, i need something to suck me in. devil in the white city is supposedly somewhat true - not totally sure about this - and rich with history. it's come highly recommended, so it made the list. it's about life in the early 1900's and serial killers - drama & mystery - fun times!


how many times have i been told to read i was told there'd be cake? countless. so, i'm going to read it. i'm actually tempted to read this after i finish miz lancaster's latest. i'm a cake person, like bad. i think i had three pieces at the last wedding i attended (good cake, ya'll!). i get stabby if there's not a lot of icing... i just feel like this book is right up my alley...


sloane's written another book, and i've made the commitment already because i just feel she and i are going to be great together...

finally - charlaine harris. i didn't discover her until after i'd seen the first season of trueblood. once i became hooked on it and discovered there were something like ten books about sookie stackhouse, i went straight to target to buy. not only are they dirty, sexy vampire reads, they are also tiny, like romance books, and only $5.99. hook it up!!! i've now read all of them, so i'm pretty abreast of what's going on with trueblood unless mr. ball throws in a little something extra, which he so likes to do. once this goes to the $5.99 paperback, my cheap ass will be reading it... i'm pretty sure i might have already forgotten what's happened in the first nine. either way, even if you're not a trueblood fan (i know no one who isn't, really), but you like sexy vampire books, this series would be one for you.

what do you think? if you've read some of these, please leave a review in the comments!

p.s. i'm on goodreads! be my friend and we can exchange book ideas all day! whoo-wee!
http://www.goodreads.com/ashkgillespie

Junk Road Rage 101

you know you're day's gonna be awesome when you get into an altercation with a school bus driver at 7:30 am.

back story ::

i live in suburbia hell. literally. not only is it a suburb, but it's a trafficy one. efficiency is not on the top of my town's priority list. nothing beats keeping the historic integrity of the town square in place - yet the mother effing town square is kind of a major junction in town (note: i like history and historic places, but i'll bulldoze the hell over anything that makes no sense). most people have to go through it to get to their destination. whatever - i'm getting off the point. i blame my decrease in patience and increase in road rage incidents on the fact that i now live where stupidity and inefficiency came to die. TO. DIE. During the summer months, it's tolerable, but during the school year, repeatedly banging my head on my steering wheel provides more pleasure than dealing with trying to navigate to work.

uh...you might want to make that a zero.

back to now ::

so, this morning, i'm late. true to form. my alarm goes off at 6, and fall out of bed at 6:20. it's just now it is. i'm a sleepy person. i was a little late going through town, and strangely for july, traffic was a bit terrible. i looked up a few cars and noticed that i'm behind a school bus. ding ding ding!!! what the eff is a school bus doing blocking traffic during the summer? oh, that's right - summer school. after a few minutes of total bullshit, the road finally opens up and i take my chance to go around the bus. just as i'm approaching, he's stopping, and i think, "speed up so you can pass before he starts flashing the lights" (i never know if you're supposed to stop when the lights start flashing, or when the stop sign is completely out.) my conscience kicks in and just as i'm about to breeze by, i stop. why you ask? i don't f*cking know.

i stop, but i'm inching up because why the hell aren't these kids on the damn bus by now?

here's the thing, and this will be true when i have my own little shits - if you're late for the bus, your bad. not my bad. i'm in my car, on my way to work, and i'm not going to be late because your dumbass kid can't crawl out of bed for SUMMER SCHOOL.

so, i'm inching, and next thing i know, i see the bus driver's giant paw come flying out his window waving all crazy. first thought - "he's being trampled by the children!" second and correct thought - "he's yelling at me with his paw!"

(cursing) he does this little wave that means to 99.9% of everyone on earth "go on by" so i hit the gas...then is paw yells stop. then the stop sign half way goes in, so i go. then his paw yells stop. then i rolled down my window and screamed at the top of my lungs "what the bleepity-bleep do you want me to bleeping do, dude!?!" and he says something that i can't decipher.

finally, after traffic is backed up to the damn town square, bojangles the bus driver rakes in his stop sign and i take off.

i refuse to feel like an asshole. i was never going to run his stupid little stop sign, i was just inching up because i might have been illegally bbming.

it's summer - should we be taking this all so seriously? i know those little summer school punks sure aren't.

because work can wait, right?

making lists makes me happy. random list posts also seem to generate comments, and i need those. i'm feeling all lonely and "new girly" out here in bloggy land.

• last night i was getting all caught up with perez, and i got to an article about that trainwreck of a teenager, taylor momsen. not only do i hate her stupid character on gossip girl, but i'm pretty sure she's totally hateable in person. where in the hell are her parents? do they not see any need to step in and at least attempt to get her on the right path? where is her mother or any sort of woman influence to say that her eye makeup is absolutely terrible and she completely misunderstood the whole "smokey eye" trend? more importantly, why is a 16 year old walking around in lingerie? i just don't understand. she is the reason why i'm scared of children - they may grow up and turn into her.
  

• i'm going to say it - brace yourself - i think lady gaga's taking it a little too far. i'm kind of over all her antics. i still love her music, and i'll still rock out at her concert (if i can get tickets) but...wow. i'm over it. i know it's hot in nyc and all, but the get up she wore to the yankees game was redic. not only that, but her behavior was a little out of control. while i understand she's pushing the social norm and trying to be all ed-gy, i still see no point in going to a public place, as a public figure and flipping the bird and screaming profanities. let's have some class, lady gg. i'm not a new yorker, so maybe i'm not understanding the hard-edge bitch you must have to be, but enough's enough. you've convinced me that you're a hard ass, and you will say, wear and do anything you want. again, i'm all about the concerts and the performances and pushing the envelope with all of that, but this looney public behavior has got. to. go.

• did anyone see the lead singer of train on last night's home run derby? first of all, i'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say he had to be sick. he was straining like crazy to sing "hey soul sister" - i thought his head was going to explode. but seriously, in the words of the husband, he's 145 pounds soaking wet. cocaine much? anorexia? during the whole "drops of jupiter" era he was not sickly thin. he looked ridiculous last night. who knows what's going on with him, but he should really try to pull it together.

• work? what's that? i'm lacking the motivation to sell (which is 50% of my job, btw) in the worst way. today i promise to get on that.
  

• i'm reading jen lancaster's new book. anyone out there reading it too? what do you think? a few funnies, but things just haven't been right with the last two.
  

• i'm on a new diet. it's called quit eating so much, chunk. i'll let you know how it goes.

• have you guys heard soulja boi's new song, "pretty boi swag"? dis? right here? is. my. swag. it's all up in my head, and i walk around the office singing it daily.
  

• i have officially come down with tanorexia. i'll have you know the night of the wedding i blogged about earlier, i bronzed with self tanner, then bronzed with my sephora powder bronzer, then added more make up. i'm straight from jerseylicious. what the hell is my problem? seriously, if i wore more leopard print and a push up bra, i'd be a dead ringer.
  

• i purchased some laura mercier makeup on gilt, and i'm 100% obsessed, like bad. i've been using mac powder for years - like stuck in my ways, ya'll - and i might be dropping all of that for miz mercier. what is your favorite makeup? (i will probably do a follow up post on this as my makeup runs out - i'm thinking a change is a comin')

• finally, followers, i'm going to ask you to do me a favor, if you like my blog, will you link to me? i'm itching for some new followers, and could use some help! thanks!

oh, hellllloooo

if i haven't made this clear yet, i'll make it clear now - i'm 100% dorky addicted to trueblood, twilight, and all things vampire (although, i've yet to jump on the cw's version - i forget the name). up until two episodes ago, i was all about some eric northman. yes, he's hot in real life, but i find his creepy vampire stare the sexiest, and i'm a sucker for super tall guys in general.

only season 3 pic i could find - mediocre photo, in my opinion

until somewhat recently, i couldn't stand for the camera to be on anyone else, but then they introduced alcide herveaux. i've been totally in love ever since. who is this guy? where has he been all my life?

he's g-o-r-g-e-o-u-s!!!

please say hello...



when you're neck deep in vampires you forget how much you once appreciated a good tan. now, i'm salivating at scenes where alcide is barking gruff orders at sookie, and for the life of me, i can't remember if they hook up in the books. their relationship is somewhat platonic so far, and there's definitely chemistry. i'm itching to see alcide engage in some sexual behavior. i'm terrible - just say it.

i know you guys have an opinion. my twitter was lit up with trueblood tweets last night. ugh...it's torture to have to wait until next sunday.

shake your groove thing

this weekend a couple of friends got married. the husband loooooooves weddings, and whenever we attend one, i kind of get all lovey over him all over again. that's definitely a good sign as life and work tend to take the romance out all together.

i purchased this little number to wear with my nude platform heels ::


the dress is fab, but not when you're bloated - and i was. even after sweating a gallon in spin saturday morning, i couldn't kick the icky feeling. i also over bronzed, but oh well...i'd say the look, as a whole, was successful; although i have no full length photos.

i took one for the team and stayed sober while the husband bounced around and let loose...below are some photos of the good time ::

(i might have done the superman dance ...completely sober...in my platform heels. hey, the dj loooved to play it, and apparently, i was one of the only ones there who could somewhat remember the dance that went along with the catchy little tune. i believe the wedding photographer was the only one to get that photo, and i'm glad.)

first dance

things got crazy quick

here's my "i am sober - get out of my face face"

i don't depend on alcohol to have a good time, but everyone knows a little wine helps make a good time a better time. husband provided all the entertainment needed for the very long reception - the bride never wanted it to end, so her family kept paying off their driver for hour after hour of continued party time - hilarious.

anyway, i hope all of you dear readers (as few as there are!) enjoyed your weekend! have to get back to the grind this week...ughhhhhhhhhhhhh..... smart ass monday post tomorrow.

lighten up

i'm not someone who puts a lot of thought into my hair. or at least i don't think i do. i've got dark hair - really dark hair - and whenever i highlight it, it ends up brassy. i gave up the highlights a couple of years ago because i was spending a small fortune on keeping them a normal color. i was having lunch with some blogger friends last week, and the discussion of blonde hair and all the woes that go along with finding just the right blonde came up. i work in an office full of blondies, so i finally understand all the different blondes you can be, just in listening to them go on and on.

when i color my hair, i go black, and i still might opt for that, but my blogger lunch dates recommended going light, a la kim kardashian, my celebrity-by-association crush.


i facebooked my stylist last night only to be ignored - ?? - i'm writing to inquire about taking my hair in a total direction; therefore, giving you lots of money, only to be ignored?? ridiculous. so, i called another salon and they told me that in order for me to go from drastic dark, a la kim kardashian as a brunette ...


i was going to have to come in and spend three to four hours waiting for some chemical to take my hair light. and it would be $50/hour. i guess $150 - 200 to make my hair light isn't that much, but what if i hate it? that's $150 - 200 down the drain for me to have to have them put back to dark. you all know how cheap i am.

what to do? thoughts?

Loving Frank (and this junk)

i just finished this book. holy crap, was it good. in my old age, i've become somewhat of a history freak. i love learning about all things past - especially if there's some drama and scandal involved. as it turns out, frank lloyd wright was a scandalous little man - also labeled a genius and progressive for the time. in the early 1900's he was emerging as an architect with an interesting vision. his muse was nature, and his creations were made up of clean lines and gorgeous details mimicking the simplistic beauty in nature. without giving away major details, he fell in love with one of his clients - a woman named mamah (may-muh) borthwick cheney. after several years of fighting the feeling, they eventually abandoned their families to be together. it's worth noting mamah was also considered ahead of her time. a college graduate and intellectual, she was your present day independent woman.

basically, this book tells the tale from mamah's perspective - later frank's. you can't help but root for them as they threw their lives as they knew it away to be together. i'm not a user of the term "soul mate," but after reading this, it's kind of one of those things - they were magnents to each other. the pull was something they felt they couldn't bear. it was worth destroying people they loved to be together. the book chronicles their affair - traveling the world together and later settling in frank's birthplace in a home he designed for them named taliesin. this name has some relation to the quote "the truth against the world" which was fitting for the time in their life as the scandalous nature of their relationship had nearly destroyed his career and her reputation.

do i think this affair is something to celebrate? no. but i did find the book very interesting and the research after even more fascinating. i can't really say more without giving away the ending of the book. if you prefer the cliff's notes, go to wikipedia and search frank lloyd wright. there, you will find the information all about his affair with mamah, and the ending is there as well.

because i am a dork, after reading the rest of the book, i went straight to the internet to get a visual of his work and taliesin. pictures are below ::

frank lloyd wright's home in chicago suburb :: oak park, illinois
this is the home he shared with his wife and children

another view of his home in oak park

the home edwin & mamah cheney commissioned frank to design
mamah and frank began their affair in this home - notice the two taller houses on each side - well, turns out, one of the neighbor's children totally watched them do it on the floor, and the upstairs windows were later boarded up because of it. rated r, ya'll.

taliesin somewhat present day :: spring green, wisconsin

from the hill

aerial view
for some reason, i pictured taliesin as a small cottage. none of these homes are small. they are freakin' awesome.

book review for loving frank? five stars. i absolutely loved every page of it. pick it up! let me know your thoughts!